Quote of the Day

Change your thoughts and you change your world. - Norman Vincent Peale

I just need to post something since I haven't for a few days. Today is April 1, though this post will show up as a few days ago because I created it then, just by pasting the quote from that day in this thing. I thought about responding to the quote with some of my "philosophizing" but I don't really feel like it anymore. The quote is very George Kelly, however, who I am reading about today in preparation for the personality psychology test I need to take tomorrow. Kelly was the topic of class a few weeks ago, but why read it then when the test is still 2 weeks out? So here I am, reading three weeks of class material in 2 days in order to score a mid 70's grade on the test. This is how I do it. I've gotten a 90 and two 70's range grades on exams for that class so far. I don't think I ever worried much about grades, they have always come easily enough for me. Even in this class, my exam average isn't A material, but with the papers we've written I have an 87% for the class. With this final exam and the final paper it is possible that I could pull off an A- for the semester. Which is why I am putting some effort into preparing for this test. I don't care if I end up with an A or B in the class, so long as I pass it, which I will. When the possibility of an A is high, and the goal proximity is close, I am OK with changing my thoughts to change my world, and put some more effort into it...

The rest of this post can be found in the Ajax's Whimsical Revolution ebook for Amazon's Kindle. The book is a compilation of my favorite posts, 78 to be exact, of which this is one. If you don't have a Kindle e-reader you can download the free Amazon Kindle app for PC or Mac.

Two Blocks and a Slight Breeze

A few days ago I visited Taco Bell. While visiting I decided to have something to eat. I ordered two Crunchwraps, two Cheesy Potato burritos and one caramel apple empanada. I took the food home with me to eat. I didn't check the bag to see if everything was in there, so of course it wasn't all in there. When I got home I realized that they had forgotten the empanada; I checked the receipt, they hadn't forgotten to charge me for it. Oh well, this stuff happens. I mentioned it to Muffin Man and he said "Go back and demand justice!" To which I responded, "Two blocks [how far Taco Bell is from my apartment], 50 MPH wind, 20 degree windchill; the revolution doesn't cover that!"My sage friend waxed philosophical at that point, "It's funny how easily revolutions can be thwarted by two blocks and a slight breeze."
I don't know if that was worth mentioning, but two blocks and a slight breeze seemed like it would make a good title. Plus I'm typing up an assignment and you know how well I focus. I don't. That's how.

Give an Inch, the Aliens Come

This isn't some hidden meaning about illegal immigrants. I simply mean that pretty soon extra terrestrials are going to show up and want to be covered under the government plan.

[I posted this several days ago, now looking back at it, I should have said universal instead of free. That would have been amusing on multiple levels. -Ajax]

A Fine Example from the Top

I was just watching the news on the television. They were showing President Obama signing the new health care reform flim flam. He had a whole row of pens next to him and it looked like he would make a little mark, switch to a new pen, another mark, another pen, and so on. At first I was confused, why would it take so many pens to just sign his name, its not that long, after all. Then it hit me. He was saving money by using every last drop of ink out of a pen. He must have started a pen recycling initiative around the White House. He was signing his name using the absolute lastest bit of ink available before throwing a pen out. This kind of frugality is admirable in a leader during a time of economic turmoil, recession or depression, whichever you prefer. I for one applaud the president for being a good example of conserving resources while signing a 939 billion dollar bill into law...oh, wait, this just in...he wasn't conserving ink! He was creating souvenirs for his cronies, you know aunt Nancy and uncle Harry! Boy was I wrong! Ha ha ha ha. Well, signing your name with 20 different pens to hand out to your friends is good too, just put the cost of the souvenir pens on the tab, I'll pay it off eventually, yeah, don't sweat it, at $50,000 per year annually, minus 35% for taxes (including the Social Security I'll never reap any benefit from) and minus my own cost of living I ought to be able to pay back the $939 billion in approximately, lets see, carry the 1 (million), by my estimation, I'll be able to pay that back never. Keep the pens coming, pass around the champagne, too. Drink up politicians, you represent us, and we can't afford the festivities, so you just go ahead and represent our celebrations. I know Nancy will celebrate on our behalf, no matter what it takes, she'll pole vault over the fence, parachute in, whatever, she'll "represent" us. It is great to have an honest bunch of folks who take their position of responsibility seriously in representing the great people of our country. They want nothing more than to provide the best life for all of us. Unfortunately after all these years of letting freedom and liberty ring, they have a lot of work to do to "clean up" the messes. We don't need to worry, this crack team of civil engineers will soon have us all enjoying our natural rights: the right to own a home bigger and better than anyone else's, the right to a college education, the right to a job, the right to full coverage of health care and the right to food, to name a few. With rights like these who needs enemies? I say, if having a house and food and health care are my rights, then bag the education and job rights, I'll just take the first three.
To sum up, I don't know enough about this health care reform, but what I do know about it sounds sketchy. I am leery of an overpowering government. When you take responsibility away from an individual, bad things happen. If I'm not responsible to work in order to provide myself with the necessities of life, then why would I ever want to work. This leads to a feeling that I am entitled to what I need, then the entitlement spills over into the realm of what I want. Then someday I don't get what I want and I don't know how to deal with that, so I take what I want. Maybe that is drastic thinking, but it is my opinion that the greatest evil people face is that of getting something for nothing. It is a terrible way of thinking that I am owed anything just for being. I think it is too easy to condition someone to become dependent. If the government continuously hands things out to people who don't have to do anything more than stand in line for, dependency will develop. I don't like where that seems to lead.

Extry, Extry, Read All About It

I like to read my school's newspaper because I like to feel frustration. Irresponsibility and disrespect really get my goat up. I never typed that phrase before, but that's how it sounds when people say it. I don't know if it is actually goat, or something that sounds like it, maybe a word that isn't commonly used anymore. I digress. Disrespect and so forth really bother me, so I always get worked up when I read the ridiculous things in the school paper. Sometimes there are legitimate articles that are on topics that make me want to role my eyes and ask why? We are constantly told by administration and such that we shouldn't spend so much time on electronic devices, i.e. texting. Then the paper has an article talking about the many wonders of cell phones and texting. It even gave a list of helpful "text speak." Maybe it is just me feeling that way. Granted, the school paper is not the voice of the school administration, necessarily, there just seems to be some incongruities in it. Some of the other topics lead me to think that as well, but I don't want to go into the details, you'll just have to take my word for it.
Possibly the most recurring theme in the paper is the topic of jaywalking. I don't get it. Crosswalk, use it or don't. Apparently, so says the paper today, jaywalking isn't illegal in this town. OK. Case closed. Do it or don't, it is your call. You cross the road and get hit, it's your own fault, regardless of whether there is any white paint under your feet at the time. When you are the smaller of two objects vying for the same space, it is your responsibility to yield to the larger. When I say responsibility, I mean common sense. I mean it is your basic instinct of survival that ought to tell you not to step in front of a moving vehicle. Crosswalk, light, stop sign, whatever. If you step in front of that vehicle and it doesn't stop, it is your fault. Maybe not legally, but rationally and logically. That being said, jaywalk all you want if it isn't illegal, but don't expect the cars to stop for you. Idiot.
What spurred this topic for a post was a quote I read in the paper today. A speaker at one of those academic pep rally type things. Some kind of lecture to students about stuff. That's what I gathered from the picture and title of the article. I didn't read it. I mostly scan and read the highlighted quotes that are in the little boxes. This specific one said "Don't think because you walk out of here with a degree that you are better than [other people]." Was it necessary to give that reminder? Maybe I should go back and see who the audience was for this. How could this be a necessary statement to make to anyone at the college level? Who reaches 20 or so years old and thinks, "I'll get a college degree and then I'll be better than people who don't have one"? Has this generation become so perverted through ideas of entitlement and instant gratification that they honestly think they are better than others because of their level of education? It bothers me that that had to be said. Maybe it didn't need to be said, maybe the audience who heard it all felt how I'm feeling now, when they heard it? Either way, it was said, it was reported in the paper, I read it, and it frustrated me.
In another pop out quote a person said the Rosetta stone, while being just a stone, is kind of like the Mona Lisa of stones. No joke, though I wish it were. This one, for me, is up there with the quote from a few months ago, in regards to the barbershop music show on campus, the person said "Barbershop seems like a really crunk way to spend the evening." Poetry.

Taking My Homework Home with Me Again

For my personality psych class we are reading some of Viktor Frankl. He talked about finding meaning in life. He also talked about anticipatory anxiety, wherein you are so focused on the end result that you are distracted from the necessary steps to achieve that end. I think I experienced that recently. Too bad it takes the end to know how you should have done something. I'll be OK, after all, tomorrow is another day. You said it Scarlett.

In other unrelated news, I clicked spell check and it highlighted Frankl's name, and ok, it says it ought to be OK. Obviously, I corrected it above. The way this blog tool works for spell check is if it finds a word it doesn't like it highlights it in yellow. You then click on it and it offers suggestions for correction. The first option for ok is OK, the second is OJ. I thought it would be funny if I changed it to "I'll be OJ." You know, because of OJ Simpson.

Another Week Away, My Greatest Fear

"I Will Play My Game Beneath the Spin Light" Brand New.

Check out the song, I certainly enjoy it. It is from their album Deja Entendu, which is similar to deja vu, which means, already seen. Any guesses on what entendu means? It is French. I have a French professor and I asked him, he told me, even though I mispronounced entendu. He's a smart fellow.
Today is March 22nd, and the last day of this semester is April 9th. It is down to the wire and I have a few papers to write and then several tests to take. I'm not overly motivated to do the papers, but I'm not especially underly motivated either. I'll get them done. I always do.
The next line in that Brand New song from the title of this post is "I need the smell of summer, I need it's noises in my ears." I just opened my window and it smells like it might rain; it is also very windy today, which will increase the chill factor considerably. It has been very mild this winter, as a whole, we had an early sub zero spell in December, but since then it has been acceptable. I'm ready for summer though.
I don't think I've had anything happen over the weekend that was worth discussing. Except for one thing that I don't want to discuss. How do you like that? I say there's nothing and then I squeak that line in about something. Something that must be really good if I don't want to discuss it. Now maybe you are thinking you'd really like to know, and I'm just trying to build up suspense before telling you. Sorry, I won't be saying. We talked about this kind of thing in my personality class. You ask someone how they are and they get all mopey and sigh and say "I'm fine...I guess" and then they sigh again. What's the expected response from you? It "should" be that you ask them what's wrong, and use your sympathy voice and the inner part of your eyebrows raise. That's what society teaches us. It teaches us how to respond when someone is manipulating us for sympathy. I'm not saying every time someone acts like that it is out of manipulation, but sometimes you can tell. If they are your friend and they want to talk they'll probably go about it in a less manipulative way. The people I'm talking about here are the ones that you don't really know, not more than an acquaintance, maybe you met them on campus one time at the vending machine or waiting in line at the testing center and then you see them again and you barely remember their name, if you even caught their name that first time and they give you one of those "I'm fine...I guess" deals and really all you were doing was being polite when you said (not asked, just said) "hey, what's up?" So then you are thinking 'I don't even know your name, I don't want to get involved with your drama, you aren't supposed to say anything other than 'what's up?' back to me, this isn't how its supposed to be!' Maybe that's just me though. Anyway, it might seem like I was trying to set you up for one of those, but I'm really not going to tell the one thing that would be worth writing about that happened this weekend. Have a great week.

A Flip Down Memory Lane

I posted these pictures on Facebook a few years ago when this event took place. I drew the story using Microsoft Paint. I really need to get Photoshop, it would come in very handy. Paint was the best I had so I made it work for me. I hope you enjoy. [click on the picture to open it as an image file in the browser if you can't read the words. They are more "readable" in the larger size]

Biz Markie, Southland and a BIG Sandwich

Why does sandwich look like it is spelled wrong? Spell check says it is correct, and I know it is, but for some reason it looks wrong to me. We will just ignore that for now. The title line, what does it mean? I went to a little sandwich place in the next town over with some friends tonight. It was a great sandwich, good value, hefty hunk of food. My buddy was getting a 6 inch, and I laughed in my head, ha ha, I thought, I'm hungrier than a 6 inch sandwich. I went with the 8 inch. Little did I know, this wasn't your ordinary submarine bread. 6 inches wasn't just the length, it was also the width. Had I been aware of that, I probably would have been happy with a 36 square inch pile of bread, cheese, meat and veggies. Regardless, I ate the whole thing and was rather pleased with it. The conversation was entertaining as well. We regailed each other with stories of shows and seeing bands. My favorite was the image I had in mind as the story was told of a friend who broke his leg crowd surfing. I'll tell it from how I interpreted it. This guy is crowd surfing and having a blast. As the tide draws him closer to the front security line, a stuffed shirt reaches up and grabs him, no doubt to pull him to safety. As the security man pulls him down, the guy falls and his leg smashes into the fence. Busted. His leg, that is. I feel sorry for the kid, but have to laugh at the irony; the guard breaks the kids leg in an attempt to rescue him.

#2. Southland. Have you watched this show yet? I was watching the most recent episode online, as I missed it earlier in the week (that's a story in and of itself, I went to a laser light show featuring the music of The Beatles). The episode is called U-Boat. Ben goes out on patrol solo for the first time. This show is so gripping. I get an adrenaline rush just watching it. My room could probably be on fire all around me and I wouldn't notice until a commercial pops up. I actually feel a relaxing of my muscles on the commercial breaks. This new episode ends right in the middle of the action. It fades to black and I think it is going to a commercial, but it starts the next episode in the que. I wanted more. What a show! CSI, NCIS, Law & Order: these are nothing. Southland lets you ride along in the lives of the characters. I love it.

I am going to get some water, and then I'll come back to finish my third thought of the day.

Wow, that was some drink of water, an hour and 15 minutes. Well, Biz Markie, he's got a song that was in my head this morning in relation to something that was said in my Personality Psych class this morning. One time I tried to rewrite the lyrics to that song and play it on guitar. I think my rendition was fair, but not good.

That's all I've got to say tonight.

Finally, the Stage is Legitimate Once Again

As you all know, my friend Muffin Man is in a play. He plays a Russian Soldier. To celebrate his role and express my appreciation for his friendship, I have created this:


I used Microsoft Paint, so it's not perfect, but it gets the job done.

Muffin Man, teach those pukes a lesson, act up a storm.

It All Began When I tried to do Homework

A simple task, really, read an article, write a review and prepare a presentation for class. The topic is pretty basic, "does punishment reduce aggression?" I just got home a few minutes ago from class, actually 45 minutes, wow, what have I been doing for 30 minutes? Anyway, I got home took out the article to review and began writing notes on how I want to present. I went to the Internet to look some things up and came across a link for the top ten weird fears or something, from Merriam-Webster.com. Number seven stood out to me, Kakorrhaphiophobia, "An abnormal fear of failure." What struck me was the ridiculous name, and the fact that there is no way I could ever learn or remember to pronounce that word correctly. I have a kakorrhapiophobia of kakorrhaphiophobia. I'm not even going to try to say the word out loud because I'm pretty sure I wouldn't get it correct. I never before have had an abnormal fear of failure, but I do now, thanks to this word. But doesn't that seem to be the way it is? I was never afraid of snakes until I learned that snakes could kill me, maybe that's not true, I think fear of snakes is, waaaiiiit foooorrr iiiittt...Ophidiophobia, that's number 8...instinctive. I didn't choose to be afraid of snakes, it chose me, or so it goes. A better example is people. I don't think babies are innately afraid of people. Well, maybe, they do seem to have an attachment thing going on where they cry in the presence of strangers and weird, unfamiliar smells, I think. Homework is a good example of a learned fear. When you are little you like school, it is fun, the teacher is nice, usually a grandmother or a 22 year old straight out of college, they are friendly and want to help you learn! When they ask you to take a worksheet home and fill it out you are more than happy to do that favor for them. After a few years, as the teachers change, as you change, as homework changes, you realize, this isn't a good thing. You then develop...I went to see if there was an abnormal fear of homework, there isn't, and then it hit me, this is a perfectly rational fear. Anyway, I'm done talking about fear, I'll now discuss another top ten list that distracted me while I was off on my distraction. Top ten new words for 2010. They were all inane and made me angry, but the worst was (no offense if you've been using this) aughties, as in the years between 2000 and 2009. Our great-grandparents used aught to describe the years between 1900 and 1909, i.e. "back in aught 6 I saw my first horseless carriage." When were cars invented? Never mind, it doesn't matter. The important thing is that they were. Right, aughts, so they used to say that, apparently some trendy web person submitted that as the term they and their cafe hang out friends use and a bunch of other trendy web people voted on it and the dictionary people thought it was solid gold so they put it in at number 10. Well, I'll tell you what I think of that: I don't care. I won't be calling it the aughties. Unless they get Ben McKenzie to say it on Southland, he's so cool.

P.S. Watch Southland on TNT, Tuesdays at 10/9c. If you miss it, catch the few most recent episodes on the Internet at Hulu.com (it will link you to TNT.TV) or TNT.tv/southland. Warning: due to excessive explicit language, mature themes and violent content, viewer discretion is advised. That being said, it is a fantastic show, very "real" seeming and delves into the characters rather than the procedures of police work. At least that's what the behind the scenes feature on the DVD said.

Friend: To Be or Not to Be

A friend of mine decided to take a break from Facebook again; she is killing her profile tonight. She inspired me to follow. I won't be deleting though, just not visiting for a while. Facebook is a constant distraction for me. One of the first things I do after my morning routine of preparation is login to Facebook. I could be reviewing material for my classes or catching up on the daily news...or leaving for class a few minutes early to pick up an apple fritter, or spend time talking to someone I run into on campus. Why is Facebook getting the priority? It's not a terrible tool of idleness, but it could be. I like Facebook. How else could I have "connected" with so many people from my past, or that I have met once? I'm not saying that's bad or ridiculous, its just not what I want at the center of my "self." I am connected with 294 people on Facebook. Friends? Some of them. What is a friend? Another of my friends explained it well today, she said that friends are people we want to have around us, we want to see them happy, we don't want to offend or hurt them. I don't want to offend or hurt the "friends" I have on Facebook, but that's not enough to make them friends. They are associates. A select few, relative to the total number, are my friends or blood relatives. I'm not going to go through and delete people. I don't mind if they know what is going on in my life. If I didn't want them to know I wouldn't be posting it. I'm just thinking through type here. I love a lot of people. I have a lot of friends. Some I see everyday and talk to often, others I never see, such as Muffin Man, he lives in another state. Facebook is a convenient way to share things with people who are far away. The problem is when I look to Facebook early in the morning, as soon as I get home from class and last thing before going to bed, along with other times interspersed. I don't spend hours on there, unless I'm chatting with a distance friend, which I think is the reason for the application and a valid use of time. I guess what it comes down to is that Facebook is like great super-hero power, it can be used for good or for evil. I'm going to get away from it for a while. Maybe I'll write some new songs, or read a book, or actually do all of my school work. Maybe I'll be a more involved friend for someone, or save an acre of rainforest. Then again, maybe I'll destroy an acre of rainforest, there's no telling what I'll do. I'm calling myself a revolutionary, so it is about time I start revolutionizing something, best place to start is with myself. This is where I turn off my CRT monitor a la Doogie Howser and the picture fades to credits with that heart monitor beep style theme music playing. Doogie Howser, MD. What a life that kid must've had.

Ajax v. Vending Machine

A month or so ago I was just finishing up the stock pile of Butterfinger bars my brother and sister-in-law sent in a package for Christmas. My brother works for Nestle/Purina, so he gets the goods at employee rates. Sweet deal (get it? sweet, candy, that's right). I ate the last Butterfinger and thought it was the greatest thing ever, I don't know why. The next day after classes I went to the vending machine to get a Butterfinger. Before I continue, I'd just like to mention that last semester the candy bars in the machine were 85 cents, this semester they are 100 cents. Ridiculous. I still buy them though. Which is exactly why they are 100 cents now. I digress. The vending machines have a card reader for our school ID card. I swipe the card and make my selection and bammo! Two candy bars drop. At first my thoughts said "woo hoo!" a la Homer Simpson, then my thoughts said "D'oh!" a la Homer Simpson. A wave of "that second candy bar isn't yours, you didn't pay for it" came over me. I picked up both bars and put them in my coat pocket and began my 3/4 mile walk home. The entire walk I debated on what I should do with that second candy bar. At first I thought I could walk into the administration building and ask to see the president of the college (at other schools he'd be a dean, I guess, but we call him president). I decided that was too much. Then I thought I could go to the food services people and give them the candy bar, but I didn't know where to go to do that. I figured there was probably a phone number for the vending service somewhere on the machine, but that seemed like a lot of work. Just before I got home I realized that the second bar slipping down left an empty space in the spiral candy holding pushing deal. I could just go back, swipe my card, make the selection, the corkscrew would roll and nothing would drop. The machine would take my money and we'd be square. I was content with that plan and continued home happy. When I got home I didn't feel like eating the candy bar(s) so I stashed 'em in the desk...

The rest of this post can be found in the Ajax's Whimsical Revolution ebook for Amazon's Kindle. The book is a compilation of my favorite posts, 78 to be exact, of which this is one. If you don't have a Kindle e-reader you can download the free Amazon Kindle app for PC or Mac.

As American as Chinese Food and Flipper

Last week one of my dearest friends told me to get in the kitchen and bake her an apple pie. I was willing to oblige, though needed to get some apples and time with which to "pie." Yesterday I found the apples, they were in the produce section at the grocery, exactly where I thought they'd be. Oh, previous to seeking out apples I printed a recipe from the internet. Back to the apples; they were right on the apple shelf, ready for purchase. I intended to bake the pie last night, but you know how Friday nights are: last class at 3pm, meet with a group to study at 3:15, take the test at 4, home by 4:30, pick up groceries and a pizza, eat half of said pizza, plan on doing some homework but talk to Muffin Man instead, finally do that homework around 7, by the time that's finished it is too late to bake a pie, so you watch Southland's most recent episode and call it a night, 10pm. Friday nights are always so crazy. The point is that the pie had to wait.

This morning was spent with homework and various other tasks, for example, I researched carbon dating forgery. Finally it came time to bake this pie. The recipe I had chosen was for baking the pie from scratch, as they say, I didn't use any scratch in it. Just flour, sugar, salt, crisco (gross, by the way), apples, cinnamon, brown sugar, butter and water. I wish someone would have seen me trying to mix the crisco, flour and salt. I was laughing at myself. I tried using a spoon to mix the stuff (I'm in a college apartment, we don't have a mixer device), but kept throwing the flour on myself. I gave up my fears and just stuck my hands in the goo. That goo doesn't come off the hands easily, let me tell you. It sticks in the friction grooves, which I find to be unpleasant. The next step after mixing those items was to add ice water in tablespoon increments. I hadn't prepared that part before hand. In an effort to be lazy, I grabbed a paper towel to use to open the fridge and get some water out of there. I didn't want to wash the goo off my hand yet as I would need to knead some more. The paper towel, while not a very precise means by which to accomplish my task, was very effective. I was able to get a bowl of water and take care of the necessary steps of adding to the dough.

I began rolling out the dough and my dear friend, the requestor of this pie, came over to watch. She helped by peeling the apples. I tried rolling the dough on wax paper, using a plastic cup as a rolling pin, again, college apartment, 4 guys live here, we don't have all the necessary baking tools, though we are all pretty skilled in the kitchen (and sometimes our microwave makes popping noises and there are flashes of light from it. Of course that creates quite the startle response. When this occurs we just unplug it and talk about how we should tell the apartment managers as they provide the microwave with the apartment. Instead we don't tell them and a day later when someone wants to use it, they plug it back in and everything is fine, until the next time). The dough was sticking to the cup and to the wax paper. Eventually I asked if I could just put the dough in the pie plate and press it into place rather than roll it flat and drop it into the plate like the recipe said. I did so. This is where the trouble came in, the recipe said use a 9 or 10 inch plate, so that's what I got. The dough was not enough to do the job however. Next time I'll get a smaller pie plate. I filled the plate as best I could leaving very little dough left for the top. I flattened that out as best I could and then cut it into 8 strips. I wove the strips on top of the pie for the old school lattice look. After about 50 minutes in the oven I had this


I made a pie from scratch, without even using any scratch. Thats my story, I hope you enjoyed it. I don't think you did, but that is OK. Neither did I....or did I?

History Repeats

I am going to assume that lyrics written in 1864 are public domain and I can post them here. Is that correct? If not, will you tell me so I can remove them and be law abiding? Thank you. With that Introduction, here are the lyrics I am referring to:

Tis The

Song of little Mary

Standing at the bar-room door

While the shameful midnight revel

Rages wildly as before.

Father, dear father, come home with me now!

The clock in the steeple strikes one;

You said you were coming right home from the shop,

As soon as your day's work was done.

Our fire has gone out our house is all dark

And mother's been watching since tea, --

With poor brother Benny so sick in her arms,

And no one to help her but me. --

Come home! come home! come home! --

Please, father, dear father, come home. --

Chorus

Hear the sweet voice of the child

Which the night winds repeat as they roam!

Oh who could resist this most plaintive of prayers?

"Please, father, dear father, come home."

Father, dear father, come home with me now!

The clock in the steeple strikes two;

The night has grown colder, and Benny is worse

But he has been calling for you.

Indeed he is worse Ma says he will die,

Perhaps before morning shall dawn; --

And this is the message she sent me to bring

"Come quickly, or he will be gone." --

Come home! come home! come home! --

Please, father, dear father, come home. --

Chorus

Hear the sweet voice of the child

Which the night winds repeat as they roam!

Oh who could resist this most plaintive of prayers?

"Please, father, dear father, come home."

Father, dear father, come home with me now!

The clock in the steeple strikes three;

The house is so lonely the hours are so long

For poor weeping mother and me.

Yes, we are alone poor Benny is dead,

And gone with the angels of light; --

And these were the very last words that he said

"I want to kiss Papa good night." --

Come home! come home! come home! --

Please, father, dear father, come home. --

Chorus

Hear the sweet voice of the child

Which the night winds repeat as they roam!

Oh who could resist this most plaintive of prayers?

"Please, father, dear father, come home."

By Henry Clay Work, 1864
-end

I read this for a history class assignment. We have a website through which we access original source material from the "old days." The class is U.S. history up until 1877. Some of the documents to read are personal letters, others are political documents. I have been impressed with several of the documents by how much things have not changed in the last 150 or so years. Such as with this bit of lyrics. Apparently in 1864 there was as much of a problem with fathers ditching their families for booze as there is now. It is really sad. My dad never drank and never sold me out for anything as selfish as that. I am grateful for that. I think because I have a great father, I can relate to the feeling of the child in this song to have his father come home. I think as much as any other problem we are seeing in this world, the problem of negligent fathers is right up there at the top, and I'll suggest it is the cause of many of the other problems, or at least highly correlated with them. If I had to boil down what I've learned from my parents, to one attribute each, I think I'd say Mom taught me love and Dad taught me responsibility. In reality they worked together to teach me all things, but if I had to I'd assign these traits to each as the primary instructor. Responsibility is the root issue I have with people that frustrate me by their behavior. Responsibility is what makes life tough. We are responsible for people or situations and that brings consequences, some good, some bad. Either way, responsibility holds us accountable for what we choose to do. I think it is the fear or distaste for this accountability that leads to situations like we see in out-of-control governments. People like me who see other people making irresponsible decisions get frustrated and decide to do something about it. They think, 'if only I could make them see it my way, they wouldn't be so miserable.' But that is where I differ with those people like me. I get frustrated with irresponsible behavior, but I don't think it is my place to control people into being responsible. I don't know if you can be responsible if you are forced into it. It has to be demonstrated and then adopted by the individual. This must be why writers do outlines, so they know what they are going to say and how to say it before they start saying it. This must be why I'm not a Writer, with a capitol W, or is it capital? because I don't plan, I just start saying. I think it makes sense, but sometimes I just run out of things to say. Regardless, this song is sad and still too true today. Fathers are integral in the upbringing of children. If we had more involved and loving dads in the U.S. we'd have less problems. How do I know? Just because I know. If you don't believe me, try it out.

She Loves Me and I Didn't Even Know It...or Her

Last night when I checked my e-mail I had this message:

Hello My Dear,
My name is Rebecca I am very intrested to your profile
in(www.purevolume.com)i will like to know you, I will like you to send me an
email to my private address ( rebeccanelson200@yahoo.com ) so that i can give you my
pictures for you to know whom i am.
I believe after then we will know each other very well, Remember colour or
distance means nothing rather true LOVE,HONEST,CARING and UNDERSTANDING matters
allot in every human life.I will be waiting to read from you soon,Take good care
of your self and all that belong to you over there bye.Here is my email adress
again
( rebeccanelson200@yahoo.com )
Your in love
Rebecca

Obviously I replied right away, sending my phone number, address, mother's maiden name and bank account information. When it comes to true love, you can't hold anything back. After all, what really matters is "true LOVE, HONEST, CARING and UNDERSTANDING." I couldn't have said it better myself...psych! A 4 year old could have said it better. Here is my response to Rebecca, my "in love"...

The rest of this post can be found in the Ajax's Whimsical Revolution ebook for Amazon's Kindle. The book is a compilation of my favorite posts, 78 to be exact, of which this is one. If you don't have a Kindle e-reader you can download the free Amazon Kindle app for PC or Mac.

Ajax Tries a Sonnet

Where do my thoughts begin, I wonder,
If not through my minds front door?
Like whispers on the wind from yonder,
Not as soldiers marching, or,
Geese beginning their ascent;
Not as a neighbor near approaching
On a sunny afternoon.
Sometimes quick, a bit too soon,
Overpowering and encroaching,
Before I fully comprehend,
Where they come from, over, under,
Does not matter anymore,
But as my thoughts divide asunder,
Which ones I keep becomes the chore

I don't remember what type of sonnet I used for the rhyming pattern. I have to go to class now.

Sticking it to Tooth Decay, Cool Mint Style

[While searching for the sonnet attempt I mentioned in the previous post, I found this instead, an old free write I did for an english class. I think it is humorous, but I laugh at my own stuff pretty easily. I will have to type in that sonnet sometime, maybe this afternoon. -Ajax]

In a world of extreme sports and maximum strength pain relievers, where everything is a competition and buzz-words and action adjectives make everything more appealing, enter the Extreme toothbrush and toothpaste. Brushing your teeth is no longer a bedtime routine, it is an adventure. Commercials for oral care products feature beautiful people and adrenaline pumping (OK, maybe not) computer animation of plaque and “teeth staining” being blasted away by cool-mint laser beams of mouthwash. Tooth decay just doesn’t stand a chance anymore. Not in my mouth anyway, especially not since I saw the commercials for the new Oral-B® CrossAction® Pro-Health™ tooth brush and Crest’s Pro-Health toothpaste. “Why just brush your teeth when you can clean your whole mouth?[1]” Why, indeed.
I was convinced by the end of the commercial, 100% sold, I needed that toothbrush. My current one, store brand, was showing its wear; the bristles are flayed out in every direction and are fading fast, indicating it is time for a new brush. Two nights ago I purchased the brush, the manual version, for $3.19. In my opinion, it is living up to its hype. The package boasts of 7 oral care benefits: removes hard to reach plaque, reduces gingivitis, cleans along the gumline, polishes away surface stains, removes odor-causing germs on the tongue, stimulates gums and is gentle on enamel and gums. According to the website (footnote 1), in clinical studies the CrossAction® brush removes up to 90% more plaque and provides 55% better gum care than the competition manual toothbrush. Throw in the CrissCross® Power Tip® Bristles and soft gum stimulators and you have yourself a prepared-for-anything dental hygiene tool. I am going to destroy plaque and “odor-causing” tongue germs.
A good brush is only part of the battle; CrossAction® gets you into the battle zone, Crest Pro-Health provides the ammunition. “Using breakthrough technology, Crest Pro-Health Toothpaste is the first and only toothpaste on the market today to contain the Polyfluorite System™,” boasts the Crest website[2]. It has a Polyfluorite System™? Oh, yeah – though I don’t know what that means. It sounds like it will clean my teeth. The box features a high-tech looking diagram of teeth, covered with a grid system to pinpoint the location of the paste’s benefits: fights cavities, fights plaque, fights gingivitis, builds increasing protection against painful sensitivity (only the tooth kind of sensitivity, sadly), fights tartar, whitens teeth by removing surface stains and freshens breath. All I have to say to that is this, “wow, they thought of everything.” All it cost me was $2.79.
At the end of the day, I feel comfortable knowing that my mouth is safe. The glossy metallic-blue packaging used to protect my weapons until the time they were unleashed now lies at the bottom of a trash bucket. The commercials are over and the buzz-words forgotten, but man, my mouth is clean.

[1] Retrieved 6/18/2008, 2008, from http://www.oralb.com/us/products/manual/crossaction/
[2] Crest pro-health - about crest pro-health toothpaste. Retrieved 6/18/2008, 2008, from http://www.crest.com/prohealth/aboutToothpaste.jsp

A Poem About Prison...and Some of My Thoughts on the Arts

I've never been to prison, but I do have a class called Corrections. We've been watching a lot of videos about life in various prisons. A recurring theme in the videos is poetry written by inmates. The professor for this class gave us an assignment to write a poem about prison. I tried to think of feeling trapped and then applied what I've heard and read about the life of a prisoner. I just did a simple AA BB etc. rhyming scheme. There were some really good poems in the class, and I'm not really big on poetry. I like to write songs, but somehow, though it is the same thing as poetry, I don't like poetry. I think the reason why is that sometimes people pass things off as poetry, and I don't understand what in the world they are talking about. Personally, I like poetry (and songs) that make sense. They need to tell a story or convey strong emotion. That's the type of song I like, so I suppose that's also the poetry I like. I never understood the type of art that is just spilled paint either. I like to think of myself as more of a realist than a polarized optimist or pessimist; I guess the realism carries over into my art appreciation, be it written, painted or sculpted. In the cases of abstract art I still can appreciate the skill and time put into the creation by the artist, it just doesn't make my toes tingle in the same way "You Won't Know" by Brand New does. OK, go listen to that song and come back and say "what are you talking about? all he does is scream in that song?!" Like I said, emotion, that's what I'm looking for, and Brand New gets my emotion up. Maybe the whole idea of one person critiquing another person's work is slightly ridiculous because we all have such varied experience and perception. I suppose that is true, so who cares what I think about poetry? Not me. I tried to write a sonnet one time after hearing a podcast about writing sonnets. I thought, It can't be that hard, as hard as they are saying it is, to write a sonnet. So I wrote one, although I don't think I got the rhythm of it exactly correct. It was good enough for me though. I will post it when I find it on my computer, or retype it later. I shouldn't hate on poetry, it really is the same as writing song lyrics. Poems have their own type of accompaniment and rhythm, built in, whereas my songs are accompanied by a guitar. What was the purpose of this post? Right, prison poem, so here it is, my homework assignment to write a poem about being in prison:

Incarceration, my faults were made known
My weakness and folly I now have to own
When so many others live life without care
I’ve trapped myself and it just doesn’t seem fair

I have so much time to sit and to think
Wondering what could’ve been, it all makes me shrink
I can’t face my family, I can’t face my friends
I can’t face myself the shame never ends

If only I wouldn’t have made that one choice
If only there had been a kind, loving voice
If I had someone to tell me “just leave it alone”
This sorrow and pain would have never been known

Locked in a box, 20 years I will spend
Is this really the best way to make amends?
Taken from society and the victims I’ve made
Couldn’t I do more if I could serve them day to day?

I understand they fear me and I’ve become a label
But if they’d just listen to me they’d know that I’m stable
Am I the only one who has ever made mistakes?
Or am I only the one who got caught for Heaven’s Sake!?

For 20 years I’ll sit locked away from the world
I’ll think on what I’ve done, lying crying and curled
My sorrow goes unheeded and everything is so cold
Soon I’ll start resenting them and I’ll become bold

I won’t listen to them as they don’t listen you see?
Is prisonization what’s really best for me?
Someday I’ll get out and be back on the street
I’ll have nowhere to go and nothing to eat

The stigma keeps me from getting a job
But my “pals” back in the prison taught me to rob
It won’t take me too long to be arrested again
For some this or that, it’s all the same in the end

I’ll be back in the cell, back to serving up time
But this time I won’t be sorry for the crime
What started as a mistake by a misguided youth
Developed into a process of distorting the truth

Life inside the prison, counterfeit society,
Makes the world a safer place, but for you, not for me

Tales from a Psychology Class

Today our professor shared a story with us about one of his daughters from when she was three. He was in the middle of a four month stint in China, working on research. One day his wife called to say that their daughter was hallucinating. She told him the daughter was saying that she heard voices in her head. She was being told what to do and what to think about. My professor said he was slightly worried as she was pretty young and shouldn't be having those kinds of problems. It never became an issue and all went along with the "voices" not being talked about as much anymore. After the time in China was complete, my professor returned home. He decided to talk to his daughter about the voices. He asked if she heard a voice like mommy's or daddy's; she said it was like mommy's. Then he asked if it was like mommy or like a little girl; she said it was like a little girl. He asked if she heard a lot of voices or just one; she only heard one voice. He then asked if the voice was like her's or someone else's; it was like her voice. The daughter then said, "it is my voice!" This was how she developed an understanding of thinking. I thought this was a neat developmental account of learning to think. Does language start inside of our minds or outside of us through our interaction with others? Babies learn the language of their parents, which lends to the source of language being socially learned. I don't think we can definitively say that language is innately or socially learned, as an all inclusive determination. There are biological functions that need to be working for language to develop, but a lot of it is social as well. Because so much of our learning is from an outside-in approach, it makes sense that a child might have an experience like this when they begin to think silently. When children learn to read, they sound things out. The process of hearing themselves say the sounds helps them organize those sounds as words, which are labels for things in the environment. I think it is all quite interesting. That's all. What? I don't have anything profound to say. I was just relating some thoughts. Go watch TV.

Tuesdays With Muffin Man

A status I posted on Facebook with a comment left by Muffin Man.

Ajax When it comes down to it, I don't know how to study. I do know how to eat, so I'm going to eat and not study. I really wanted to study, but it's just not working out. I know, I haven't really given it a fair shake, but who gets those these days? Birds and squirrels, that's who, and none else.

Muffin Man at 4:46pm March 30
To find evidence of the ease in which the squirrel lives life, one need only to look at the saying, "Even a blind squirrel gets a nut once in a while". Unbelievable! Squirrels don't even need a mouse on a leash to guide them to a nut, they chance upon it themselves. They don't even need to work for it, knowing their luck they probably just trip over one during one of their afternoon walks. If God provides a blind squirrel with a nut, without the squirrel even having to work for it, why can't He provide me, a 27 year old man-child, with a B in my math class? How about we start a new saying? "Even a 27 year old man child gets a passing grade on his calculus test every once in a while" Don't even get me started on birds...


And a glimpse into an instant message conversation.

6:39pm Muffin Man: I had the TV on for some backround noise and that was on and that was the line I picked up on

6:39pm Ajax: i was doing stats homework, but now i'm writing a song about you with that line in it

6:40pm Muffin Man: And that, my friend, is why I love you like Mr. Smith loves Washington

6:41pm Ajax: i don't think he loved it, he just went there. he probably loved it in going, and after he met that fine broad that worked for him, but after that cantankerous old senator wanted to pave over his beloved boyhood romping ground, i don't think mr. smith loved washington anymore.

6:42pm Muffin Man: Why do you always shoot me down when I try to relate to you on your level?!

6:43pm Ajax: my apologies. i'm a jerk. i have low self esteem and the only way i feel good about myself is tellling people everything i know all the time, i analyze everything

6:44pm Muffin Man: I've never even seen Mr. Smith goes to Washington but I know you love that movie so I tried to suit it to you, but you know what? I'm tired, oh so tired of trying and will try no longer! I hope you are happy sir! Why don't you go and become a contemporary artist and stab me in the heart even deeper

6:45pm Ajax: i just finished a t-shirt concept of triangles and lines, some are blue, some are red, others yellow.

6:45pm Muffin Man: I hate so much about the things that you choose to be

Logic vs. Clever

In a letter I received from a friend she said something about being logical instead of clever. This post is the dialouge and thought process that ensued. I wrote back the following:
I think it’s funny that you said you are not clever, only logical, as if a person couldn’t be both. I’d like to make the case that I am both. That cartoon can be witness of my cleverness, and as for my logic, well, I’m not one of the “them” on this campus. I think that is logical. Really, I don’t feel I need to defend my being clever or logical. So don’t let yourself get in the way of yourself by saying you aren’t clever, you can be clever and logical. Then again, you don’t have to be, it’s up to you. Maybe being clever is illogical though, maybe that’s why it is clever, because it is different, it isn’t the status quo, outside the box, so the logic people say, “oh, that’s clever” because it isn’t what they would have thought in their heuristic based frame of reference. That’s an interesting spin on the subject. Maybe clever and logical cannot coexist in the same mind. I’ll have to ponder this one some more.

Then I took the discussion to Muffin Man via e-mail:
my text hyped it up too much maybe, anyway, here's the thought:
can you be clever and logical? my initial thought was yes, then i thought, no.
here's my explanation; being clever is making people say, "whoa, i didn't see that coming." being clever is thinking outside the box. logic is heuristics, rule of thumb, status quo, inside the box. Therefore, if you are clever, you are thinking outside the box, and not logically. But, does one have to crowed out the other altogether? Can there be some cross over? Are there logic times and clever times?
Please share with me your insights.
Ajax

Muffin Man’s response:
My answer is yes.
Being clever doesn't always mean "whoa, i didn't see that coming." Being clever can also mean doing something with a twist, insight, different perspective. It's about being creative. Logic is rational, reasoning, something that makes sense, etc. I think that clever and logic are sometimes distant, but not mutually exclusive.
Example:
Einstein. Now here was a guy who managed to mix being clever and being logical together. He came up with clever theories, but those theories had to have some form of logic to them, otherwise he would have been no different than a Sci Fi writer, excuse me, SyFy writer. Same thing with a guy like Stephen Hawking. He is clever in the way he sees things, and the way he thinks. It's creative, yet balanced by logic be it big or small.
Andy Warhol. In the art world it makes sense (is logical) that art and commerce would go hand in hand, but it wasn't a real reality until Warhol came along and combined the two, and even more than that he helped redefine the term "art". Things we call art now would not have been called art 50, 60 years ago, but we look at it now (well, some of it) and it's logical to call it art.
Steven Spielberg is another example, but I won't go into that.
You can be clever. You can be logical. You can be both. The world would have fewer geniuses if there weren't people who balanced the two. I think logic can be stretched to go over the box, and the cleverness can be achieved within the box. Sometimes it boils down to time. Things that seem logical now were things that were born out of creativity (cleverness). What once was radical thought, is now common knowledge. Time evolves the outsider into the accepted.
Basically what I'm trying to say is: Yes. You can be both. Sometimes all it takes is time. Because my theory is that everything thing we use, learn about in schools, take advantage of, that make sense, are because of someone's clever idea. Clever evolves into logical.
Did any of this make sense?
-Muffin Man

An Anecdote from My Past

An experience I once had, which I related to Muffin Man:
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I was setting out for luncheon with my business associate, Lane. As we approaced the lift at the end of the hall, Lane turns to me and says,

"Why, old chap, it appears as though there are bird leavings on your back; did you know this?"

Bird Leavings? On my overcoat? Impossible! Thought I. However, upon removal of the garment I found the astute observation to be nothing but the Kings honest truth!

"My word! There does appear to be a spot of fowl droppings on my overcoat! When did this happen?!" I demanded incredulously, diverting my route to that of the gentlemen's wash room. "I'll take care of this right now."

Lane and I entered the wash room where I held my coat under the hot water faucet until the residue began to dissolve, then helped it along with a paper towel. Luckily, I wear a water proof coat, the inside of which remained perfectly dry through this cleaning process.

"Now your coat will freeze in the wind beaten streets below," says Lane.

"Whether it freezes or not, I do not much care, for inside I will be dry and warm, and outside I shall not appear as the boardwalks of the Jersey shore."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Muffin Man's response:

One of the most heartbreakingly funny and beautiful things I've read. What made it even better was the fact that I just happened to be in my crushed velvet smoking jacket while drinking some tea and enjoying my mahogany pipe. Good show old boy!

Ideas like This are What Makes it Hard for Me to Pay Attention in Class

We were talking about the history of policing in Criminal Justice recently. The instructor mentioned 1360 BC Egypt. He said 99% of the people of Egypt lived along the Nile river; naturally, that's where the criminals would be as well. He said the Pharoahs army would police the river. I wrote in my notes "Nile River Highway Patrol." The river was their highway. That reminded me of the television show CHiP's. The late '70's or early '80's police drama/sit com. I don't know if it was a drama or a comedy, all I know is every episode ended with a freeze frame laugh. I liked the show because I was young and liked police things. Anyway, if you are familiar with the show you know it has a degree of cheesiness to it. Here's my idea for a TV show: Nile River Highway Patrol. You get two disco studs and dress them in the ancient Egyptian equivalent of TV motorcycle patrolman uniforms and put them in a boat. Although the year and environment would be much different, the storylines would be basically the same, just adapt the crimes to meet the circumstances. The dialogue would all be '70's era, it'd be fantastic! Maybe I'm wrong, but I think I'd like to see this show.

Of course, this idea will only fly if Erik Estrada is willing to play the Pharoah.

The Moon doesn't have any infrastructure! Go! Get it now! We can create all kinds of over-controlling government there!

I don't know much about space or going there. I don't know what NASA does. I imagine there has been some technological progress resulting from the efforts to get into space and hang out there. It probably isn't fair to say that the entire space program is a waste of time and money because there probably have been ideas and inventions that once were come across in preparation for space, but have been integrated into our daily lives. Such as, but not limited to, the magnetic tip screwdriver (I don't have any idea who invented this or when), dehydrated ice cream, the celebrity of Neil Armstrong, the Moon landing hoax theories and the Disney channel. If you know other things that came as a result of the U.S. space program, please share. There has to be some reason why we have been spending billions of dollars for so many years to fly into space and look around. It's really great to see pictures of things that are too far away to really see, you know, from a few miles closer than if we just took the pictures from Earth. Those Hubble produced pictures have inspired some really rad desktop wall papers and screen savers.

Well, I think it's kind of ridiculous that we are sending rockets to the moon to take pictures when our country is falling apart economically. People are losing jobs and faith in the government at a steady rate. Businesses are closing and someone is probably going hungry, but what can a billion dollars do to help that? Nothing, apparently. Let's just pack it in a big firework and send it to the Moon. Unless this Moon stuff is part of the plan. Maybe we are going to finally colonize the Moon and that's where those 100,000 jobs created per month promised by President Obama will be staffed! There aren't any government jobs on the Moon right now, the growth would be monumental. They'll need a governor, a governors staff, a post office and all kinds of things. There will need to be a department of lunar vehicles to register that rover. Roads will need to be built. You know, I think this is a good idea. I was being sarcastic at first, ignorantly questioning the spending priorities of some people in this country, wondering why they would rather put cameras in space than to feed hungry children, but now I understand. The Moon is the bailout plan and the stimulus.

Now it makes sense. We'll colonize the moon and create intergalactic government. That ought to play into Pres. Obabma's desire to be world president as well, who can dispute you if you own the Moon? Nobody. Unless they own the Sun. Good luck with that, North Korea. I'm tired of this now. Bye.

If You Have Higher Regard for Celebrities Than for Your Parents, This Post is for You...

[This is something I typed up to vent frustration several months ago, you'll be able to tell based on the content of it. I wanted to be productive and post something, but I didn't want to take the time to produce anything new. Funny]

Why? Because I'd like to tell you to WAKE UP!

I was watching the news yesterday and a news alert popped up. Given the current events of the World - North Korea positioning missiles, Iran approaching revolution, Cap and Trade bill - I assumed something important was about to be shared. I was wrong. We were taken live to the UCLA Hospital or some place and told that Michael Jackson was in there and "in bad shape." Ok, and the news alert happens when? Shortly after that alert we found out that he was dead. No disrespect to him or his family now that he is dead, but seriously folks, he's a pop singer. My friend Ian made a valid point: They don't do a news alert every time a police officer who is a father of four is killed.
Facebook statuses were alive with Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett and Ed McMahon last night. Whether or not I liked them as entertainers is not the point. The point is that the news media, and apparently a lot of people, are celebrity worshippers. I turned on the news this morning and what do I see? Fox is covering Michael Jackson, so I turned to MSNBC's coverage of Michael Jackson, next was CNN. CNN was finishing up a story about Iran, the reporter said something to the effect of, grave business being carried out in Iran today, we will keep watching...this morning many people are mourning the loss of Michael Jackson. So I went to the Discovery Channel and watched Mike Rowe battle a monkey in Africa while I ate my Cheerios.
News alerts lose their power when they are used for things that don't need to be alerts. This is all just my opinion of course, but I don't want to see another dead celebrity biography until the news starts reporting the deaths of every police officer, firefighter, emergency technician, Sailor, Soldier, Airman and Marine that die in the line of duty. These Americans are at least giving us something valuable, they are giving their lives. Michael Jackson may have spent his life in the publics eye, as an entertainer (because of an abusive and controlling parent, which is another story), but what did he do for my freedom and safety? Nothing that I'm aware of. Maybe he influenced your life more than mine, but I still don't think he deserves a biographical memorial on every major news channel while we have service men and women dying in the name of freedom and no one seems to notice.
I love music and I have felt connected with a good set of lyrics before, but to care more about the death of a songster than to pay attention to our own corrupt government or any number of the other corrupt governments throughout the world is ridiculous and is a sign of the misdirection of our country as a whole. I guess it makes sense as to why we've elected a celebrity to be our president rather than someone who is experienced enough to run the country - not that either of the candidates were very promising.

Ajax: Take Him or Leave Him

My self-introduction, more personal and informal/formal than my blog introduction, this is my follow up to Muffin Man's introduction, and explains a bit more about our purpose here with this blog. I give you Ajax:

I grew up on the mean streets of Kendall Park, NJ. There wasn't any criminal activity that I remember seeing, but one time some older kids walking behind me after school commented on my socks being too long for wearing with shorts. I was young, I didn't know how to respond. This experience hardened me. I was never the same after that incident. I didn't know how to wear clothes as to be "in style" and I didn't know I should care. At that moment I vowed something, it's been a while, so I don't remember what exactly. You know what, it's not important, nevermind.

My name is Ajax. I am a revolutionary. I have never started nor participated in any revolutions though, not real ones anyway, nothing you've heard of. I am a fan of thought expansion. This is the only real evolution that I believe in for humans: thought expansion, evolution of mind. I'm not profound, though I wish I were. Mostly, I like to say things, usually for the sake of provoking laughter. I am a conversational comedian. A conversational comedian is one that doesn't prepare a routine, life is his routine. Conversation happens constantly throughout the day with many different players, in many different venues and with many different topics. A conversational comedian uses the current setting and discussion as fodder for funnies. I'm not trying to say that stand-up comics or sketch writers have it easy or hard, this is just how my brother defined our sense of humor, and I like it.

My affiliation with Muffin Man began several years ago. He is the ketchup to my mustard and sneeze to my pepper. When I speak illogically, he gets it. When he speaks illogically, I laugh and tell him I have no idea what he's driving at. We are currently both in college. We want to help people think and laugh more. If we can do that through messages and cartoons on a blog that half a dozen people will read then we will do it. Maybe we can't change the world for everybody, but maybe we can entertain seven people for a few minutes on a Saturday afternoon when they are trying to avoid doing homework or laundry. Or maybe they have slept in that morning and are just rolling out of bed. The thought of making french toast and watching old westerns on TV seem very appealing, but then they realize they don't have any cinnamon. You can't make french toast without cinnamon. Then again... They go to the internet in search of french toast recipes that don't utilize cinnamon. Maybe there is another way to have a solid french toast experience without cinnamon, but also without just making the same old stuff minus cinnamon. There has to be a better way, if there is, the internet will have it. The person searches, and searches, finally happening upon a blog. They begin to read, and laugh. Soon, they determine what they really want is a cheeseburger, so they get dressed and go out in search of a cheeseburger. Now, I'm not saying this is bound to happen because of this blog, it's just one possibility.

As Promised, I Give You Muffin Man

In my first post on this blog I mentioned introducing you to my best friend, Muffin Man. I said I'd either tell about him or let him tell about himself, what follows is his story, in his own words. I will follow this post with a more formal introduction to myself, Ajax. Meet Muffin Man...

It all started as a child growing up in the United States. I lived a somewhat idyllic childhood in my cozy corner of beach front property we call the great land of California. My mother had come across Europe from Finland via UPS and a straw in 1980 to escape the great chocolate famine that was sweeping throughout Scandinavia at the time. Her dream was to go to America, but she only had enough money to ship herself to the UK, and there she stayed for a year as she slowly but surely accumulated the funds to secure passage to the New World.
Like most Finns, my mother had grown up with a love for baking. Over time her baking had earned her the praise of all whose palettes were graced with her creations. People often referred to her baking as, "magic", and eventually she lovingly became known as Julia Houdini, a nickname that was in reference to her great skill in cooking and baking that resembled that of Julia Child, and the fact that she would often bake while hanging upside down and secured in a straight jacket, hence the Houdini part of her nickname.
During her year in England she became privy to that icon of baked British goods, the scone. She fell in love instantly and made it a goal to master the art of the scone and add it to her vast, and multi cultural baking repertoire. By the time she had fully mastered the scone, the time came to leave the UK for the U.S. and begin the journey toward the american dream.
The years passed, I was born, turned two, then five, then 17, and so on. On the night of my 18th birthday, my life changed forever. My mother, as she did on every birthday, made a veritable United Nations of scones for my birthday guests and I. There were blueberry, chocolate, gooseberry, bacon, and every other possible kind of scone your mind can conjure up. The guests were in heaven, but I had grown weary of scones. I was in a bad mood because I had been unceremoniously dumped by my girlfriend, who also happened to be the girl of my dreams. I was not only wearing my heart and emotions on my sleeve, but on my entire body as well. You could say I was in an ill fitting powder blue tuxedo of emotion. As I sat at the center of the table, alone with everybody, my mother took notice of my sad countenance and tried to remedy it by pushing a chocolate scone my way which did nothing other then open the flood gates of my rage. "I'm not a scone man!", I yelled and got up in a huff and ran for the exit. When I got the exit I quickly turned to face my friends and family, yelled at the top of my lungs, "I'M. A. MUFFIN MMMAAAAAAANNNNN!!!", and ran off into the cold winter night.
I ran for what seemed like hours, but due to my lack of stamina when it came to running, and the stitch I was getting in my side, it turned out to only be three and a half minutes. The night wore on, and the words I yelled kept running though my head. "I'm a muffin man. I'm a muffin man. I. Am. A. Muffin. Man.". I thought it was just a statement of my preference for muffins over scones, but I couldn't have been more wrong. As I walked the seemingly empty streets of San Francisco, wondering not only about the meaning behind, "I am a Muffin Man", but how I wound up in San Francisco in the first place, I eventually came across a lone stranger in a finely tailored suit and red converse shoes sitting at a bus stop eating a muffin. I stood there just starring at him. He returned my gaze with a disarming smile, and in a cockney accent worthy of a Guy Ritchie movie he said, "'Allo, Muffin Man". I stood in shocked silence, and he gestured for me to come and sit next to him. I robotically moved to sit down at the bench, and when I took my place next to him he proceeded to enlighten me on the path of destiny I had just set foot on.
He told me that I was to be a symbol of truth, of humor, of the ridiculous, of charming rogues everywhere, and that I was to develop my skills, talents, and Australian accent, and that I was to do all of this for the greater good. He told me that I wouldn't know exactly where or when, but my path would cross with that of a man named Ajax, and together we would form a dynamic duo that would rival the Wonder Twins and cause the world to change forever. He told me all of this, and more, those many moons ago, and since that night I've spent a substantial amount of time looking for him and trying to figure out his identity. After years of searching and scouring the globe I finally discovered, to my extreme confusion, the identity of the finely dressed man in the red kicks. The mystery man was me, nine years into the future.
Don't ask me how this happened, or how it is possible, because I don't know. My best guess is that it has something to do with the island I was stranded on with thirty other people, and the dangerous natives we came across during our time there when I was 24. There was a lot of unexplained activity going on, and lots of talk about gigawatts and flux capacitors and the unstable power they held. But my time on the island is of no concern to you. The only thing you need to know is...I am Muffin Man.

The Caped Crusader vs. The Caped Instigator

Bruce Wayne and the Phantom of the Opera: A Case Study

Batman and the Phantom are both victims of childhood trauma. Each wears a mask and acts in supernatural ways, but they are even more different than they are alike. Batman is a less musical, more selfless version of the Phantom. It might not be fair at all to compare these two, as their lots in life are very different, but they are just make believe, so it doesn't matter. Batman (as depcited in the Batman Begins movie, I'm not a comic book purist, sorry if you are) falls in a hole and has bats fly by him. On top of that he witnesses his parents being shot in a robbery. These events are enough to strain anyone and greatly influence the course of their life. Batman chose not to let the trials conquer him; he saw the problems of society that cause his misfortune and decided to fight them. In a selfless manner he risks his life for the good of the whole. If I inherited billions of dollars, I'd probably be more willing to give as well. On the matter of selflessness, does Batman ever really give up his grudge? Maybe he isn't so selfless after all...

The rest of this post can be found in the Ajax's Whimsical Revolution ebook for Amazon's Kindle. The book is a compilation of my favorite posts, 78 to be exact, of which this is one. If you don't have a Kindle e-reader you can download the free Amazon Kindle app for PC or Mac.

It Tastes Like Drinking a Broken Leg...or Homework

I am a fan of Sobe's LifeWater beverage. I think it is great because it tastes like watered down juice, or flavored up water. Either way, I find it a pleasing drink. Around campus they've been selling them for $2.68 or $2.19, which I wasn't happy about, but then one day I noticed them in the vending machine for $1.50, I can get down to that. My favorite flavor is pomegranate cherry. My least favorite flavor is the zero-calorie line. I don't know if anything could possibly taste worse than the zero-calorie LifeWater. I've had a "thing" against any zero-calorie drink for as long as I can remember, probably from the first taste I ever had of something diet. It is horrible. Do you know what makes it zero-calorie? Sugar is what they are removing, you know, the stuff that makes it taste good. They need a replacement for sugar, a no calorie replacement, so they found these chemicals that "taste" like sugar, the shape of the molecules, or something, makes the chemical trick your taste buds into sending the "sweet" signal to your brain. Your brain fires off the sweet response and you are happy. Maybe you are, but not me. Either my tongue or my brain is different because I don't get any sort of enjoyment out of these non-sugar sweetners. Anyway, the rest of the story is that the fake sugar molecules go into your digestive system but aren't absorbed by your body because of their chemical make-up. The process leaves you with a sweet taste (it is supposed to anyway) and then no caloric absorption. Just what everyone wants, pleasure without consequences (I could rant on that subject for a bit, but I won't...yet). I guess it would be nice if my tongue wouldn't be so honest with my brain and just let it think that it was sugar. I wouldn't have this terrible taste in my mouth. It's like mustard and apple juice strained through a wet-nap. By now you are probably wondering why I would take the time to complain about something that I have so much control over. If I hate this drink so much, why did I drink it? Is all of this from one accidental tasting? One day, I did accidentally buy a bottle of the zero-cal. That was before they had them in the vending machines, so I paid $2.68 for it. I took a drink and at first didn't notice, but then the taste hit me. I looked at the bottle for an explanation, asking what did I do to deserve such a horrible taste. This is when I realized it was the diet version. I was horrified. I didn't want to waste the money though, so I drank it. I've been careful ever since then not to fall into this trap again. Earlier today I was at the grocery store and noticed they have LifeWater for $1.00 each. I couldn't pass this deal up, so I bought a couple bottles. It wasn't until I got home that I realized I made the zero-cal mistake again. Even though this time I only spent $1.00, I still feel obligated to drink it, so to appease my discontent, I have written this post. Somehow that settles the balance of the universe for me. Now I will finish drinking this horrid mess. Cheers!

There's No Honor in Becoming 'Westernized', But There is in Murder

I recently learned about a case in Arizona where an Iraqi immigrant murdered his daughter by running her over with his vehicle in the name of honor. This man ran down his 20 year old daughter, and the mother of the daughter's boyfriend, in a parking lot and left them to die. The daughter died; the boyfriend's mother will recover from her injury. Why did this happen? The daughter became too westernized. This man brings his daughter from Iraq to the United States and then gets mad when she rejects her forced marriage in Iraq and moves in with her boyfriend in Arizona. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink, though there isn't any guarantee that he won't drink once you get him there. If you don't like "western", or American, culture, don't come to America. Seems easy enough for me to comprehend. I don't drink alcohol, so I don't go to bars. I don't like hockey, so I stay away from the NHL. What kind of selfish pride would I need to have to go into a bar and start condemning everyone for drinking and claiming that their behavior was violating my rights? If I did that I would be thrown out. If I went to a foreign country where I didn't speak the official language, is it fair for me to demand that everyone speak my language and adapt to me? Of course not. Do I go into a Jewish Temple or Muslim Mosque and demand that they stop worshipping how they want? What would happen if I went to Saudi Arabia or Iran and demanded that they take any and all mention of Allah out of their law and government? I don't know exactly what would happen, but I'm pretty sure they wouldn't comply with my wishes. Yet people come from all over the planet to the United States of America and make these very demands. Is it fair? Who is deciding that it is?

Back to the "honor killing", the article I initially read said that prosecutors were not going to seek the death penalty for the man. He is charged with first degree murder (this means that he is accused of having intent to kill) as well as attempted first degree murder (for the daughter's friend who was injured, but did not die). I promise you that if I had a daughter and I killed her because she was living outside of my Christian values, I'd be getting the death penalty. The man (I am not using his name because I don't want to have to cite articles and such, this is strictly opinion) admitted to having the intent to injure his daughter because she was too westernized. He admitted his intent! I don't agree with capital punishment in most cases, and I don't think it should be given in this case, but that is based on my personal feelings, not the merit of the case. Here is the problem, the prosecution said they will seek a sentence of life in prison rather than death because they don't want to create a cultural situation. It boggles my mind. Now, not only can I not say Merry Christmas or hear Christmas songs in an elementary school "holiday" concert, but I have to watch as our criminal justice system makes allowances for other culture's twisted, inhuman practices of killing their daughters who don't subject themselves to their fathers as slaves? I'm not OK with this.

I support freedom of religion and the right for people to believe what they want. I do not support the use of religion or culture as an excuse to injure other people. I don't care what your personal beliefs are, if they involve the destruction of another person I say they do not deserve respect and should not be called religion. My thoughts boil down to this, when you go to a country you shouldn't go expecting to change their laws and customs to suit your own interests. Learn about where you are going before you go; if you don't think you can abide by the laws and customs, don't go there. If your own country isn't working for you, fight for change. Improve conditions where you are. I'm not saying that no one should come to America, I'm just saying don't come here expecting me to change my way of life to avoid offending you. If what I'm doing is universally offensive, like, say, oh I don't know, killing people, then that is fair for you to expect me to change. However, when what I'm doing is worshiping God how I choose to, and allowing you to (as long as your "God" isn't telling you to murder) do likewise, then you better not tell me I'm out of line, and you better not expect special treatment. The United States of America is not perfect, it never has been, I doubt it ever will be, but from what I see on the news and read in the history books, it is by far the best thing available in our day. It is a mockery of justice to not try this man with the death penalty if the death penalty is what a regular, "westernized" person would be tried with for the same crime. It is also discrimination. Everyone wants to call discrimination on everyone, then why not now? This man is being given a lesser sentence because of his religion and ethnicity. Discrimination doesn't only mean the person in question is being treated worse, it simply means they are being treated differently because of a "social group" to which they belong. We are all people. Anti-discrimination is the new discrimination. Everyone needs to drop the "color wheel" (including religious and ethnic discrimination) of judgment and accept that there has been some terrible problems in the past, forgive it, and lets work to be united as people and do as Dr. King suggested, "live in a nation where [we] will not be judged by the color of [our] skin but by the content of [our] character" (1963). We are all humans, let us be humane.

Who Are They Kidding?

I just got back from Subway. I love to eat at Subway, but I hate smelling like it for the rest of my life after leaving the restaurant. That's not what I'm here to discuss though, my topic is this: Subway has a new promotion called Footlong Nation Appreciation. Remember, I love Subway, and I like their promotions. When they had the Scrabble game I ate there every day for lunch so I could get the game pieces. I didn't win any of the high ticket items, but I did get a considerable amount of free sandwich and cookie coupons. I didn't eat there every day just for the game pieces, I usually ate there anyway, I worked just up the street and there weren't any better options based on value and taste. Back to the current promotion, Footlong Nation Appreciation. There was a sign at the restaurant explaining the prizes. One of the prizes is a year's worth of free footlong sandwiches. I'm all about that. In the smaller print it says "$260 Subway Card." $260? That will get you a year's worth of sandwiches? Not me, buddy. That fall when they were running the Scrabble game and I was eating there every day of the week, I racked up over 500 points on my Subway card, that means I spent over $500. That was from August through December. So $260 for a year's worth of footlong subs, I don't think so. I thought all of this through while I was in line ordering my sandwich. I had plenty of time to think as my sandwich was being toasted. The fellow asked "would you like this toasted?" and I replied, "no thank you." Naturally, he toasted it. It's just a sandwich, if he wanted to toast it anyway, I'm ok with that, he is the sandwich artist, after all. When it came time to pay, do you think I ordered the large soda so I could get the promotional code to see if I won? Of course I did. I didn't want the soda, but I wanted the chance, the one in a billion or something chance, to win a $260 Subway card for a "year's" worth of sandwiches. Did I win? I don't know yet. It has been several minutes and Subway's website is still loading all of their crazy animations. Hang on...it takes a while to redeem a code...still working on it, I registered, and then they offered me free dekstop wall paper or the official $5 footlong song mp3...Well! The code gets you The Price is Right! type games to play, I'm going to go with Plinko. What do you know! The token rolled right into the "try again" cup, rolled right into it, it defied the laws of physics. Amazing. I tried the crane game also, "try again." Maybe next time.

The other thing that I was thinking today is how tired I am of the word random. Think about it. Pay attention to your social networking web sites and favorite television programs. That is all.