Ajax's State of the Union

I have a lot of things I've been thinking about typing for this blog. Mostly I think about these things when I am at work. I have music playing while I am thinking and working, yet I still have trouble staying awake. Someone asked me yesterday if I had trouble concentrating on what I am working on while listening to a psychology podcast. The answer is no. What I do at work is so un-stimulating to my brain that it thinks it is supposed to drop off into sleep stages. That's not official science, I'm just speculating. It sounds good in theory. I figure that when I want to sleep I try to block as much sensory stimulation as possible: no light, no sound (or a "white noise" like a fan), and blankets to cover the largest sense organ (skin). Taste and smell have never been issues for keeping me awake. I suppose smell could be in some cases, but it would be harder for taste to be the sense that keeps you awake. Again, just speculation.
Anyhow, what I am doing at work these days isn't just not very stimulating for my brain, but it is un-stimulating. This means that I have to introduce extra stimuli in order to maintain a level of arousal appropriate for staying awake. I accomplish that through music, podcasts, and mental blog writing. I feel the need to be more descriptive, as in describing the actual brain wave frequencies that I am imagining accompanying all of what I have said so far, but then I remember that sometimes I'm just too verbose, so I won't go into greater detail. If you would like to hear the descriptions, just ask next time you see me, I'll draw it out on a napkin.
So state of the union, huh? I'll tell you the state of my union, status quo. Whatever that means. I have a job, though it is temporary and without benefits. It is simply an hourly compensation. I go and work, they pay me dollars. I'm okay with the arrangement. For the time being it will allow me to pay back my student loans. Student loans sounds like someone let me borrow some students. I'll tell you, school would've been a lot easier if I had borrowed students to do my work for me.
I'm making payments on my truck. It is a 2001 Ford Ranger XLT. I don't know what the XLT stands for, I don't think it is for "extra lettuce and tomato," as I haven't found any of either in the truck at any time. It is due for an oil change. I'll have that done sooner or later. Probably later. The truck gets poor miles per gallon, but what doesn't these days? Am I right? I guess I shouldn't complain, $3.15 to travel 12 miles is pretty good considering the alternative of walking 12 miles and taking half a day to do it, or whatever the rate of time passage would be. It used to cost human lives to walk across the country, now it just costs a few hundred dollars to drive. My life must be worth at least a few hundred dollars. On the other hand, what good does it do me to compare my life to people who lived hundreds of years ago? We have technology now, which has changed the world so much that there really isn't any fair comparison between me driving and gold rushers walking. Or is there? People in the world today still have to walk everywhere and some might die in the process, so what was that about $3.15 per gallon? Nah, I'm not that much of a crusader, I'll still complain. But it is good to pause and think about the ramifications of what I'm complaining about. If I don't like the cost of gas, I won't drive. If I can't live without driving, well, I can, so I don't have to face that issue yet. The bigger issue to face is my own selfishness. More on that later.
I haven't played much guitar lately, haven't written any songs. A few months ago I played some tunes with my friend Nathan and my sister Alison. We recorded drum tracks for two songs. All I needed to do was record the guitar parts and then record my sister singing and we'd have two demos. I still haven't done it. My guitars hang, un-played, unloved, un-dusted, on the walls of my room. To prove how bad the situation is, my guitar amp has become a table for the television. Perhaps it is time for that character to move out.
I've been reading sporadically, but not as much as I think about how much I'd like to. I certainly am not reading news and history like I feel I should. I used to be involved and know things, but now I've slipped into a mediocre contentment. What was that topic to introspect on? Selfishness? Yes, that was it.
Summer can't come soon enough. The winter is cold and boring outside. Occasionally there is a beautiful scene involving snow laden branches or ice coatings on the trees, but most of the time its too cold to pay attention to those things. At least for me. I miss the greenery. I look forward to getting back outside. I have a lot of yard left to tame.
I suppose that's the state of my union. In a brief blog post way. There is more I could do to improve my station, but I don't because of selfishness. I think selfishness is the root of all problems. Call it pride if that is more familiar or comfortable for you, but selfishness hits closer to understandability for me. It is interesting that it is selfishness that holds me back from improvement. You might think that selfishness would motivate a person into doing more, and perhaps for some people that is how it works, at the expense of others, but for me I find selfishness to be occupying my time with entertainment. It is lazy and easy. Don't try to argue with me because if you look around you will see what I'm talking about. Tonight will be the State of the Union address from the President. If you listen to the problems he mentions think about whether or not those problems could be solved by eradicating selfishness from our lives. Don't think about if something can be done, but how it can be done. Can I stop being selfish? A bogus question, of course I can. The better question is how can I stop being selfish? This leads to formulating a plan of action. Rather than addressing the problems and wondering if they can be overcome, maybe we should all start coming up with solutions. At any rate, it would make things better for me. That's a joke. I hope you get it. Good night America.