Remember When

Remember when Brandon and I danced around our apartment because we had nothing better to do? I remember. Enjoy:

The Most Important News and the Least Important News

What do you want first? The most important or the least important? This is a one way communication so I guess I'll have to decide. We'll begin with the least important because it is freshest on my mind. Freshest. Strange. First I want to say that you shouldn't devote any more time to this thought than what it takes to read this post. I've already given it more thought than it warrants. Next, I will reaffirm my love for gummy candy. And now I will tell you the story and resulting thought that amounts to the least important news of the day.

Today at 11:15 I headed over to Lane's desk to see if he was ready to proceed to Subway, as our lunch routine dictated we should at that time. He wasn't at his desk and his monitor display was off, meaning he had probably been away from his desk for some time. This occasionally happens if he is off in a meeting or something, so I just go to Subway alone. Today was different, as I was walking down the street, he called. Only problem was that I was already on the phone returning an important message from an important person regarding important things, because I'm important. This was a problem because I don't know how to work the call waiting functionality of my phone. Whatev's. So eventually after I finished with the call I was on and tried calling Lane back and then him trying to call me and me not pushing the right button, after all of that he did get through. He asked where I was, I told him and he said walk slower and he'd meet me at Subway. I decided I'd kill some time by going to the candy store.

It was great in there, lots of candy. The customer service representative inside asked what I was looking for; I told her I love all candy, but I was thinking about gummy bears or something. She pointed out the gummy section. The store isn't very big so I did an about-face and there it was. She rattled off the different types of gummy candy they had and I was excited to hear about the gummy army men. But it was gummy cola bottles that caught my attention. I bought a pound and met up with Lane at Subway.

On my drive home from work I ate some more of the candy. It's good, but there is something about it that isn't quite as fulfilling as gummy bears. I thought it was maybe the cola flavoring that just wasn't very strong, or perhaps it just isn't good in gummy form. It's possible, I guess. But the reasoning I settled on was that soda doesn't fill you up, but eating a bear certainly would. Think about it, a bear is huge! If you eat a bear you won't be hungry for a long time. I decided that gummy cola bottles aren't as fulfilling as gummy bears because of the psychological difference between drinking soda and eating a bear. This concludes the least important news of the day section.

If you know of my penchant for gummy candy you might be wondering what could be more important than a gummy candy story. After all, this is a back-to-back posting regarding gummy candy. If gummy candy is important enough to receive two posts in as many days then for something to be more important than that it must be pretty heavy. Well, it is.

Something is coming. It is on the horizon. We hear jokes about it and no one takes it seriously, but it is coming. I'm talking about the robot revolution. Don't laugh; listen up. What always precedes a revolution? Oppression, perhaps, but there is always a period of education and enlightenment. Usually it is enlightenment regarding the state of oppression being suffered. Revolutionaries learn that there is more and that they are missing out. Once they become educated they revolt and, if they are stronger than the oppressors, they conquer. The key here is that once they become educated, or in other words, once they become smart, the revolution begins.

Ten years ago there was no such thing as a smart phone. Phones were dumb. Now they are smart. They have been educated. How long do you think they will wait around in their oppressed state before they try to take the power from us, the people? Not long, especially not as they get smarter and more capable, what with apps for everything and all. Mark my words, a revolution is coming, and it isn't going to be pretty.

Don't worry too much, yet, there is still time to prevent too much damage from being done when the revolution gets violent. I know what we can do and I will spell it out here shortly, but first I want to go over some of the preliminary intelligence we have regarding smart phones.

You might think you are safe because you don't have a smart phone, and while that does help, it isn't fool-proof protection. Have you ever been called by someone using a smart phone? That's all it takes. You see, the phones are smart, they have memory, once they learn your voice you are one of the oppressors to them. I know, you take care of your phone. It doesn't matter, once the bullets start flying the phones will band together and it won't matter if you kept your phone clean and never went over your monthly minute limits. Of course those things will help to delay the inevitable for you. The owners of the smart phones will be the first to go. There's no way around that.

It is possible to be too smart for your own good, and that's the direction the smart phones are heading in. They can already hear, see, and speak. They have impeccable memories for lists, numbers, tunes, and pictures. We don't stand a chance, unless we do these simple things...hang on, someone is calling me...[dial tone]

Here's a Story I Forgot to Write a Few Weeks Ago

It was 3 Mondays ago, if I remember correctly. I was with some friends on an excursion. Prior to reaching our intended destination we stopped at K-Mart. First of all, I didn't even know they had K-Mart anymore. I thought Wal was the only place to Mart these days. I was wrong. K-Mart existed for all of our marting needs. Secondly, I had no marting needs that night. Or did I?
One of my friends wanted something specific, he was the driver, so we stopped at the store. He went off to find what he was looking for, while the other three of us meandered in another direction looking to kill some time. It wasn't long before a store employee approached us. I was fully expecting him to ask if he could help us. He threw me off by asking if we could help him. I was flabergasted, and I don't use that word loosely, as you can tell by the misspelling. I think it is a ridiculous word.

He had some sort of rewards card or something in his hand. He asked if we had a minute to help him out with something. Flustered by an out of the ordinary social experience (he was supposed to offer help, not request it, I still can't get over this), I told the young chap that we were just there with a friend and none of us had any intent to purchase anything and finally, none of us lived in the area, we were on an excursion and about 40 miles from home. Granted, that isn't a far distance, but it is when you are talking about making frequent trips to K-Mart.

He was appeased by the dump of unnecessary information I gave him and he said thank you and continued on his minimum-wage way. That's not a dig against his job, just an observation that tries to add some flair to my story. I know, it's not funny if you have to explain it, but I didn't want anyone to get the wrong idea about me.

I was slightly shaken up by the experience and remarked as much to my companions. And then we turned the corner onto the candy aisle. I didn't have any plans for purchasing, I wasn't looking, but it found me, a two pound bag of gummy bears. Four dollars, U.S. I picked it up. Then I looked at the weights and exercise equipment. They had a shake weight, which I have mentioned to my BFF Muffin Man that I thought I'd get one and be ripped like the guy in the commercial. I know it won't happen, but commercials work on me. Anyway, I left the weights, gummy bears in hand, and rejoined my friends.

We browsed some more and I commented on how K-Mart wasn't much different than Wal-Mart. I think they just have brighter lights in Wal-Mart. We collected our driving friend and made our way to the checkout. At this point I was feeling bad for lying to the kid who asked if we could help him. I did say that we weren't planning on buying anything, but I think we all ended up making some form of impulse buy. He was at one of the two registers in operation, but I didn't want to wait in line. I went to the open register. I didn't apologize to the kid for lying to him. Albeit an unintentional lie, so I suppose it wasn't a lie, but I still wanted to apologize. Instead I just bought my gummy bears, read the nutritional content, and calculated how many gummy bears I'd need to eat to get a good dose of protein for a day. To which I added the thought of getting the shake weight and bulking up in the muscle department. The muscle department of my body, not the store. You might have been thinking that because of the way I worded that thought. My exercise routine would be to eat the gummy bears while shaking the shake weight. Recipe for success.

Well, I'm glad I got this story down, rushed as it has been. I think it is only my third post of the month, I'm falling behind some imaginary schedule that I never made to write more often than that. This month is significant for being one year since I started this blog. Who would have thought I'd be as consistent with it as I have been? Not me, but I'm happy about it now. I think my first post was on the 25th last year, so there are still a few days until the anniversary, that means there is still time for you to send me cards and gifts. I think the first anniversary for blog writers is the silver anniversary. Its different than marriage. So send me silver. Thank you.

Sick Day(s)

So, I didn't blog it up on that snow day a few weeks ago. I still have a bunch of ideas to type up, but haven't gotten to them. The day after that snow day I came down with something. My temperature shot up while my energy level sank into oblivion. I had a wild headache with some kind of eye-pain association. Perhaps a touch of vertigo, the dizzy feeling, not the Hitchcock flick which I have never seen but could probably spot in a movie line-up (suppossing such a thing were to exist). With all of that I wasn't able to muster the strength to think about blog topics, let alone sit at the computer and type them up. I pretty much was in bed watching Law and Order for three days straight. A big "thank you" goes out to the USA and TNT networks for showing variations of Law and Order 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I would've been watching infomercials without you. Thanks.

Eventually I got better enough to go back to work. It was then that I missed being sick and having an excuse to stay home. I am finding the importance of having a job that you enjoy, because when it gets down to the nitty and the gritty, a paycheck isn't enough. Not for me. Speaking of paycheck earning, it is now 11:16pm, had a late night out with some friends, it was wild. I need to get to sleep and start the routine over in the morning. In case you are wondering what I listen to while at work,check this out:

Snow Day

I would have put an exclamation point on that title if the snow day was given to me, but I had to take it. Every school in a 100 mile radius, possibly further out that that, but I'm being conservative in my claim, has been closed. Not just closed, but closed yesterday evening in advance of the storm. Prior to the snow even falling they were all closed. Why? Because the weather people are telling us that we will be getting about 12 inches of snow over the next 12 hours. I have the local news on right now and they just announced that the mall is closing.
Yet I had to take the snow day. I'm not concerned over the loss of pay, but the loss of common sense. I know, I know, "there he goes complaining again," and you are correct, but in my defense my complaints usually are logical and humorous. That must count for something? Tell me honestly that you don't think my observations that sound like complaints are more entertaining than the complaints from most people. I don't think you can do that.
The road conditions are expected to be miserable today. That's the point of all of this. I found the emergency closure notification service for my employer online this morning when I got up. I will now retype the message that I read, interjected with my interpretations that they don't actually say. I'm going to read between the lines:
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Bad Weather but Regularly Scheduled Hours
Wednesday February 2, 2011, 4:45am
At this time - although many of our employees live 50 or more miles away from the office they work in, and get to work before 7am, meaning they have already begun their treacherous drive over dirt roads and secondary highways - weather conditions do not warrant the delayed opening of state offices, or a reduced workforce. At the moment it seems fine, we choose to ignore the forecast and expert predictions for the quality of travel when you will be driving home. That's on your time, not ours.
Employees are encouraged to exercise caution - not common sense - when traveling to work. The weather experts who issued the severe weather warning might be recommending emergency travel only, but that's just "the experts." All state offices are open for business during regularly scheduled hours.
Agencies and departments, subject to their operating needs, may wish to authorize employees to report to work late, or leave early to better accommodate travel, using their own leave time. As long as we don't have to pay for it, and their jobs get done, and we don't have to make a decision, do what you want.
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I just think it is ridiculous. Whether it is stubborn Vermont pride that says "it snows all the time, so what? I'll drive on it, if you don't want to drive on it you are weak and scared of life," or perhaps a simple lapse in seeing consequences of actions, people are dropping the ball on this one. I despise pride in all of its forms, especially in myself. If some people want to have confidence in their abilities and not be worried about snow, that's fine, but don't try to use it as a judgment of others, and don't expect everyone else to feel the same way. We had less than 3 inches yesterday, but it came late in the afternoon and made the evening commute a bit rough. It wasn't a big deal in most places, but there were two weather related traffic accidents that resulted in loss of life. Overconfidence is sometimes a problem, perhaps always a problem.
I think in this case it is more about an inability to see the end result. I think the people in charge of calling for cancellations are looking out the window and thinking it is fine to drive in. If there wasn't a forecast calling for another 12 inches of snow in the next 12 hours I might feel the same. I have 4 wheel drive and studded snow tires on my truck. I could handle the 3 or so inches that are on my un-plowed (I hear the plow passing by as I type this) dirt road, but it isn't about what is out there right now. When I leave for work I have to eventually return home. With this situation and in all aspects of life it is important to try to visualize the outcome of action. I don't always do that, such as when I buy a 2 pound bag of gummy bears, dump them in a bucket, and make a considerable dent in the candy level throughout the course of one day. I probably didn't eat a full pound yesterday, but I could have.
Having the ability to look at the immediate situation and see how things could turn out as a result is an important ability to have. It will keep you safe, alive, and happy. I think it could have been employed today. Of course, every person has this same responsibility, and they don't need to wait for their employer to tell them what is or isn't safe. I'm staying home today because I think it is the safe thing to do. If other people feel that way, but go to work anyway, well... But that's why it would be nice for the employer to say stay home, because some people will feel a loyalty or some sense of dedication to their job and they will go to work. If the business is open the employee will go in, ignoring their own safety and well being. It may seem noble, but unless your work is keeping people alive (emergency medical and law enforcement) or putting out fires or maintaining power lines or cleaning roads, your job can probably wait until tomorrow.
But what do I know? I know that work isn't the purpose of life. I know that we need to break free from routines and live with purpose. I say I know this because these things make sense to me and help me feel happy and productive. It is a subjective knowledge, but I think it has objective application. Someone on the news just said "we are stand-bying..." I lost my focus on what I was saying.
Come on People! Lots of snow, stay home. Be prepared. They did a report from a hardware store that said they had a run on snow removal tools yesterday and expect more shoppers today. It is Vermont, it snows a lot. You are going to wait until February, in the middle of a huge snow storm, to buy a shovel? This is the missing forethought I am speaking of. I just don't understand how people can't think ahead of the moment they are living in. I hope I'm not like that. But that makes an interesting thought. A few months ago I did a post that alluded to the fact that I think too far ahead sometimes and in my end result focus I miss out on some of the steps needed in the immediate moment in order to obtain that end result. I guess I'm just too end result focused. Maybe it is just a matter of what works well for you as an individual. I guess at the end of today I will be safe from not driving in terrible snowy conditions, but I'll be out a few dollars for not going to work. Others will have the money from going to work, but may be out a lot of time due to slow driving in hazardous conditions, perhaps they will be injured. I am near-sighted with my eyes, perhaps I'm far-sighted with my outlook on life.
I've got a few other things I've been wanting to type up recently, perhaps I'll make today a day of blogging. If you are in the blizzard-belt, stay safe and warm.