Ajax Thinks

Ajax Thinks
by Muffin Man

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Some Things You Don't Know...Yet

I'm not saying I know more than you, but in this case I do.

Item Number 1:

Happiness is on sale for $3.50/lb down at the Shaw's grocery store.

Item Number 2:

I found that generic "candy pieces" in store brand trail mix look a lot like M&M's, taste a lot like M&M's, but don't have the thermal functionality of M&M's. What I mean is that they melt in your hand! I was eating trail mix and the blue candy coated chocolate piece melted blue dye onto my hand skin, that is, the skin of my hand. It was alright though, I was wearing blue jeans. But I had an epiphany, the second M in M&M's stands for "mouth," naturally, the first M stands for "melts." Less naturally is the ampersand which stands for "in your," which doesn't make any sense, but you'll have to take that up with M&M/Mars.

That was ambiguous, the item was about what the M's stand for, not the similarity between the generic candy pieces and the brand name candy pieces, that was just gratuity for you for reading my blog.

Item Number 3:

We built this city on rock and roll. Just kidding, this city was built on a swamp, the real item 3 is that Pat Benatar invented the fist bump, although it really didn't become popular until some time in the last decade. I think sports players were using it for some time in the 1990's, but it didn't catch on to mainstream adolescent Americans until more recently. However, if you watch Benatar's "Love is a Battlefield" music video, and queue it up to 4 minutes and 53 seconds you will see that way back in 1983 Pat Benatar used the fist bump to congratulate her dancing gang for defeating the evil night-club-sleaze-ball-cocaine-dealer from Crocodile Dundee II. Mad props to Miss Benatar.

Item Number 4: When the men who weren't wearing pastel colored homespun shirts were defeated in the dance battle on Seven Brides for Seven Brothers I was slightly embarrassed to be a man...a man that doesn't wear pastel shirts and participate in dance battles. Hang on, my logic is flawed. I forgot how this was supposed to go. Never mind it, just stick with the first 3 items and you'll be fine.

Now you know!

But wait, there's more! For a limited time only (I just thought of another thought to share) here is item number 5 of things you don't know yet:

Agatha Christie is a famed murder mystery author. She has been popularized by her plays and novels, many of which have been converted into movies. Two of her popular characters, Miss Marple and Detective Hercule Poirot are immediately recognizable to fans of the BBC. Christie is one of my favorite authors, but I have realized recently that she hasn't written nearly as many books as the publishing company claims she has. They say 80, I say maybe half that. The rest of the books are simply rewrites. This summer I have read 4 Christie titles: The Mysterious Affair at Styles (1920), Curtain (1975), One, Two, Buckle My Shoe (1940), and Black Coffee (adapted from a play). Each book features the famed Poirot. Three of these four books feature Poirot working with his friend Hastings. Each of these books features a poisoning. Three of them feature a poisoning at a rural England mansion-estate. Two of them at the same mansion! I don't mean to detract from Christie's story writing, I love her books, but some of them are just the same story. I think there was a paragraph or two copied word for word between The Mysterious Affair... and Black Coffee. Incredulous! Whatever; they are great books to read. Lots of fun. Peace out.

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