Cue the Tip-toeing Cartoon Villain Music

I am going to type this up really fast. I have somewhere to be tonight. It rained today, after it snowed, so it was kind of slushy and slippery. As Lane and I headed out for lunch, I was walking closer to the building where it wasn't so slushy, and he commented "it is slippery." I said it wasn't slippery where I was walking, so he walked over towards the side, and I walked out further from the building. I then said "it is slippery." Perhaps there was an emphasis on the word "is" when I said it, as though it were in italics, but maybe I didn't say it any differently than Lane. With the rain coming down, however lightly it may have been, my hood went up. I have a very lightweight hood that rolls up into the collar of the coat. It is a winter coat and does a fine job at keeping me dry and warm. The hood is too flimsy to be much good in any kind of wind, or while walking with any swiftness, which is my preferred mode of walking. When I was at school it was always windy and I was always walking with a swiftness, yes, a swiftness, so my hood would bounce around and blow away from covering my head whenever I tried to use it, so I stopped trying. Unless it was really raining, in which case I would use the hood and just hold it down in the front, pinched between index finger and thumb. I think it is ridiculous to have to hold a hood. If I wanted to hold something I'd buy an umbrella. And if I could remember to buy an umbrella I wouldn't have to hold my hood. Vicious circle, I know. The reason I mention this is because of a thought that came to mind a few days ago. I went with my girlfriend, Taylor (codename for her in this blog), and another friend to see Brian Regan perform his comedy routine in Boston. Boston, MA in case you were wondering. Brian Regan is hilarious. After the show I suppose I was in a comedic observation type of mood so I was doing my best to keep the laughs coming as we were headed back to the car. There was a woman at the bottom of the stairs next to the exit door, ushering us out into a back alley filled with boxes of empty beer bottles and a mop bucket. I remember making some comment about the situation, thinking it to be very clever and humorous, but I can't seem to recall it right now. It makes no difference as that wasn't the joke I wanted to retell here in hopes of getting more laughs. Also, I don't have time, I have somewhere to be tonight. Anyway, it was raining. We were pushed out into the alley and into the rain. I pulled my hood up and it did the bouncing routine so that I had to hold it if I wanted the protection. And that is when I realized that I was like a cartoon villain. And I said as much to Taylor, recounting my many experiences of fighting my hood while leaving work for lunch over the last few months. I have to keep the hood pulled down on my head so that I can stay dry, but as I do this I lose all ability to see anything but the ground several feet in front of me. Generally, this is fine, but not when it comes time to cross the street. When I reach a crossing point I have to A) throw back the hood in some heroic fashion in order to scan the roadway, or B) keep the hood pulled down and do a full body turn in each direction I want to look, not unlike Batman in his stiff-necked Batman cowl. It's called a cowl, right? For some reason, one that escapes me now (perhaps that overwhelming desire to mimic Brian Regan's joke making ability, which I felt leaving the theater?), I thought that the image of me throwing back the hood to look both ways at the crosswalk, and then covering my head again was reminiscent of cartoon villains. As I think about it now, it is more like when someone in a cartoon, or campy movie, is trying to sneak past someone else under cover of a ridiculously large and noticeable object. At the time i suggested "cartoon villain" and enacted a tiptoeing type walk with my hood pulled over my eyes, then I'd stop, throw the hood back and look around, re-cover my head and tiptoe further along the sidewalk. The Flintstones tinkling toes sound came to mind. Which makes me think now that the similarity is more like the cartoon character who hides under a rock and less like the cartoon villain who is creeping around. Well, I don't know anymore, and like I said, I have somewhere to be tonight.