Define it Before it Defines You

I have to admit, I don't know what this post is about. Not yet anyway. You see, earlier this morning, in between sleep, I started putting a post together in my head. As I sometimes do, I typed a quick note in my phone in order to remind myself later of the idea. It is now later and I have made it to a computer, but my note wasn't sufficient to jog my memory. So I have a title, as you see, and one other phrase: "Searching, developing, maintaining." What does that mean?

I know that the overall concept had something to do with Viktor Frankl's book, Man's Search for Meaning, which I just finished reading yesterday. Frankl, for those who don't know, was a psychiatrist of the Vienna school. He was also a victim of Hitler's genocidal tendencies and spent three years in Auschwitz and other Nazi death camps. He survived, though his wife and other family members were murdered in the camps. Frankl died in 1997 at the age of 92.

The book gives his explanation of how he survived the hardships and suffering of the death camps, as well as gives an overview definition of his clinical theory, called logotherapy. At less than 200 pages it is a quick read and for the most part is easily understandable. As he goes into his theory the words get a little more technical, but anyone can plow through and get the message loud and clear. I recommend this book to all.

Logotherapy comes from Logos, which is the root of the word logic, as well as being defined as "account," "reason," or "meaning." That's what Wikipedia says about it anyway, take it or leave it. I'm going to take it. Frankl defines logos as "meaning." His therapeutic message: find meaning in your experience.

We all have experiences, it is the one thing we can't get out of while alive. It is better said that we all have experience. The human body is a giant sense organ, adapted to glean information from divers forms of stimulus. We can see, taste, touch, hear, and smell. In these ways we experience the environment. Within our minds we can experience beyond the literal absorption of information through our external senses by pondering and postulating. All of this gathering of information equates to experience. If you are alive, you are gaining experience, and that experience is shaping your life.

What we go through changes us. As my old buddy Heraclitus always says, "You could not step twice into the same river; for other waters are ever flowing on to you." Okay, so he isn't my old friend, but we did get a Slurpee together one time before a high school football game. His cousin was starting as quarterback that night and I had nothing else to do. Anyway, that wasn't when he said this phrase, so it really isn't important. You can't step in the same river twice because when you come back to step again, the water has changed. It isn't the same river. Sure, it looks the same, is in the same geographical location, and water is still flowing, but it is different. And so are we, every moment of every day. Try it out. Stand up. Walk across the room and then come back. You are different now than before you did that. You now have that experience as part of you. Deep.

So experience changes us. What of experience? Is it good, bad, or both? According to Dr. Frankl it is what you make it, mostly. There is no denying that some experiences are bad. Just flat out lousy. They are the opposite of good. That is fact. But can bad things work for your good? Yes. I don't have my copy of Man's Search for Meaning at hand, so I can't quote from it, but I will certainly paraphrase for you. Dr. Frankl points out that we needn't seek out suffering in order to gain certain experience or to learn, because it comes on its own. We don't need to seek it out, but when it comes we do need to apply meaning to it.

The meaning we apply to experience can make all of the difference. If in the case of suffering we suffer with purpose greater than the immediate circumstances the suffering sort of negates itself. That is to say, the suffering isn't in vain. Again, there isn't any need to seek for suffering, it is readily available in a broad spectrum of severity. Define it before it defines you. And that goes for life in general. It doesn't have to be bad experience or suffering. All aspects of life need definition. Define it. Have a purpose, a vision, a goal. Plan, and then work to achieve the end result of that plan.

It is not enough to sit idly by and wonder what life has in store for you. It is not sufficient to ask what life can give you. This is another section of Frankl's writing that I would quote from if I had the book open next to me. If Viktor Frankl was our country's 35th president he might have said it like this 'Ask not what life can give to you - ask what you should give to life.' What does life owe us? My interpretation of this whole idea is that life is a gift and we ought to live gratefully and with purpose. Life, as an entity represented by the people around us and situations which befall us, does not owe us anything. Perhaps if we have thoughts of expectancy and we can transition those thoughts into obligation then we might fare a little better than we previously have.

Are you searching for meaning? I am. I have found a lot of meaning in general terms, but there are unique moments of experience that continuously need meaning applied. Overall I have a direction in which I am travelling and a vision of how to manage that path. Having these helps me to place meaning and purpose in the experiences I have. It also helps when enduring an unfavorable experience. I will conclude with the obvious, if oft ignored, thought that we can't choose the results of our choices, but we can choose the meaning we give them.

Blogger Has Been Bleeger of Late

Christal, I enjoyed your comment and crafted a response comment, but Blogger won't let me post it. Each time I click publish it takes me to the Google login page. So I sign in and it takes me back to the comment page, at which point I click publish and I am returned to the login page. After five rounds I gave up and decided to just post my comment here: "Reviving is like revolutionizing, so that makes this blog a literal success. As for our mutual friend, I know a lot of Tophers, so the identity remains unknown for me. I'll leave you with this "fairy tales, can come true, they can happen to you..." Only I'm not living a fairy tale, this is real life and it is so much better than a fairy tale! Can I get a Woot!? That's right."

If you aren't Christal then this is where the actual posting begins. It has been a while since my last post. I'm not Catholic, but I've seen enough TV to know that that statement sounds like a confession. It has been 11 days since my last blog post, please forgive me. I don't mean to make light of anyones religious practice, I hope my light heartedness isn't misinterpreted. It's just that the way I phrased it I had the imagery of a confession and so I commented on it. Perhaps now I actually have something to confess. Instead I will digress.

[Digressing]

It has been a while since I last posted, and it hasn't been for want of ideas. No, it certainly hasn't been for that. More likely is the fact that I haven't made time to do it. Not that I haven't had the time or anything like that, there is always time (yes, Jim Croce, there is always time...put that in a bottle and drink it!). It is more about how we manage and spend our time. Just like expenditure of money and energy. But not just like them, because you can run out of money and energy, and I suppose when you get down to the nitty and/or the gritty, you can run out of time as well. But I really don't think we run out of it as much as we think we do, as a society. It is a common excuse that people use to A) sound important, or B) excuse themselves from doing something they didn't want to do while sounding important. We all put such high stock in "being busy." What a waste of time.

I haven't been too busy to blog, but I have been busily engaged in worthwhile activities and goings on. My time has been well spent, even though it hasn't been spent on blogging. That being said, there have been several topics I have wanted to address. Some serious, some not. I will start with one that is not, as those are the most fun and easiest to type...usually. Perhaps in the near future I will make more time to blog and I will address one of the more serious or studious topics I have in mind. For now, it will be simple entertainment.

First of all is this: Saturday night found me calling Muffin Man and leaving a 2 minute, 44 second message on his voicemail (time is according to his Facebook wall posting, I wasn't counting, I don't know that he was either, it might be an estimate to illustrate the point of his post). In the voicemail I decided that he would henceforth be known as the Muffin Man Randy Savage, henceforth for at least the duration of that voicemail. Well, Sunday night found him replying to my voicemail in a text message saying that he liked the new name. Monday morning found me in conversation with someone at work whereupon it was discovered that Macho Man Randy Savage of professional wrestling super stardom had died in a motor vehicle accident over the weekend.

The very day I came up with the new nickname was the day that, unbeknownst to me, the source of the name died. Although I have not yet confirmed the hearsay that the man is dead. It might not be true, but it also might be. Here's the point of this story, today, Wednesday, I finally replied to that text message from Muffin Man and told him about the connection here and expressed my hope that this cooky correlation does not mean that he is destined to a life of mediocre pro wrestling fame. To which he replied that the man may have been a mediocre wrestler, but an outstanding beef jerky salesman. He's right... oh yeeaaaahhh!

I don't know if that story is worth telling. It has little or less than little intrinsic value. It was something for Muffin Man and me to discuss. The part of it that stands out to me isn't the new variation of the nickname, or the random connection between using the name on the day of the man's death - no, the stand out part is that this conversation took place over the course of 5 days without Muffin Man or me ever saying one word to each other in real time. It took 4 days for me to respond to his text message, to which he responded without missing a beat in our conversation. That's Pete Townsend.

So that's one thing that may or may not be entertaining. I'm smiling. I have another thing that will hopefully be more universal in the category of appeal. I even have a picture to go with it, if I can get it from my phone into this here post. It would appear that I am able.



This sign is posted on the community pool. My only commentary is "guh?" By the definition of trespassing, I don't think it is cosmically possible to trespass at an open pool. This sign simply doesn't make sense. When I read this sign I think 'even if the pool is open, you are still not welcome here and if you come in you will be trespassing.' But how does that make sense? It doesn't. So while I commented more than to say "guh," guh remains my only commentary on this sign.

Well, this concludes another successful blog post by your old buddy Ajax. I'd like to thank you all for making this possible. Tomorrow I begin working the night shift at my new job. My goal is to stay awake all night tonight and then sleep during the day tomorrow, thereby preparing myself to be awake for work tomorrow night. I'll let you know how it goes. It is currently 2330 hrs and I am tired. End.

New Job

Today I am not at work. There sometimes isn't much for me to do that I can stand doing, so I don't go. They will try to keep me busy when I ask, but I have to ask, and I don't like having to ask for work to do when I am at work. It seems to me that if they want me there and are paying me then maybe they should give me relevant activities to accomplish. Well, I'm not in charge over there, so they can do as they please, and because this job isn't my purpose in life, I will do as I please. So I am not at work today.

It is a wonderful day, in regards to the temperature outside and clearness of the sky. Gorgeous. I spent a few hours out there this morning cutting back some wild tree branches and vines that are choking the trees out. This time of year in Vermont is splendid. I wish I had a bulldozer or a wood chipper, that would make playing outside even more fun.

Taylor is working today, she is valiant in her job. I wish she weren't working so we could be doing something, but such is life. Less than 10 weeks now until the wedding. We'll have more time together then. Which brings me back to the title of this post: New Job.

I start a new job on Monday. I am looking forward to it. I will be support staff at a residential treatment home. This will be my first psychology specific job. Everything about it seems to be just what I'm looking for at this point, except for the shift. I'll be working 7pm to 7am three days a week, with a 7pm to 11pm shift on the fourth day following those three. I've never done an overnight shift before, so I hope I survive.

Regardless of the crazy shift, I think the job will be very rewarding and prepare me for the future as I pursue a degree in counseling. I look forward to getting to know various people and gaining new experience. I love to learn and I think this will be an environment that will allow that to happen. College is okay for learning, but a lot of it isn't practical. This job will provide practical learning. Depending on how things swing for the next few months, I hope to be starting a Master's degree program soon as well. I will be a learning fool. A fool for learning.

While I am hesitant with the night shift because I don't want to turn into a zombie and it will severely limit the time I have with Taylor for a little while, I keep thinking it might be helpful for blog writing. My plan right now is to switch between working nights at this new place and working days at my current job, not on the same days of course. If I am able to do this rotation, which I don't have a lot of confidence that I will (I'm tired just thinking about it), then I will be staying up Wednesday nights to try to shift back into the night wakefulness. It is then that I expect to come up with some interesting blog topics. Only time will tell. Unless you have a crystal ball that predicts the future, which you don't, because if you did you would already have answered my question last Thursday.

Hey Dave! Here are the links!

What good is a blog if you can't use it to convey personal messages.

The album I recorded is still showing on iTunes, search my name (real one, not Ajax) and it will come up. I stopped paying for the service that puts it there though, so if anyone buys it I guess Apple or TuneCore will steal my money. So don't buy it!

The album is available for free streaming at www.grooveshark.com and Jango radio (I don't remember the URL for that page, probably jango.com).

I have a few rough draft versions streaming at www.purevolume.com/paulbrodie. Or maybe the songs there are from the album. I don't remember. It has been a while since I logged in over there.

Enjoy.

Death of a Terrorist...Death of a Fellow Human Being?

Am I pleased that the man is dead? I am pleased that he no longer poses a threat to innocent people everywhere. But I do not rejoice in death. I rejoice in life. Sometimes, however, it is necessary for certain people to die in order for other people to live. By live I mean live without being in constant fear of damage to their life or freedom. Osama bin Laden lived by the sword and now he has died by the sword. But is this justice?

I am offended by images on television of people gathered in the streets celebrating murder. Whether it is in Somalia, Afghanistan, or New York City. Those who go to war must be prepared to meet a warrior's end. Call it terrorism or a police action or an operation, but it is still war. When opposing forces meet with guns, it is war. We see war all over the world. Many people die by war as active participants, and many die as innocent bystanders. If those who die are fighting on the side of family, freedom, and justice then I mourn their death. If they are fighting against family, freedom, and justice then I feel less grief because of some sense of human justice. But is this truly justice?

All people are children of God. We are all born as helpless babies dependent upon the care of parents. I believe this is the first inalienable right of all human life: the right to be cared for by two parents, mother and father. Too many (one is too many) children are deprived of this right. I mourn for these most of all. The point is that life is sacred and all people begin in the same fashion. Throughout our lives we shape ourselves to match what we have been taught and in accordance with what we believe we want to achieve or to become some day.

We are free to choose how we will respond to the given choices we are faced with. There is always opposition, and we are always free to choose between the various sides opposed. To some extent we are able to choose the options we will face in the future by making choices in the present, but sometimes our choices are determined by the choices of others. Unfortunately, many people use their ability to choose to inflict damage on other people. But is there a point when their choices stop them from being human like everyone else?

Osama bin Laden was evil. Anyone who seeks the death and destruction of another person or group is evil. That is to say, they are following an evil influence. I might add that those who celebrate the death of other people in the streets, even if the dead are their enemies (perhaps especially in this case), are also following an evil influence. Please do not be offended, I am simply working through a thought process, and at any rate, these are only my personal beliefs.

In my mind I keep seeing two scenes flash back and forth. First, the scene of a Navy sailor kissing a woman in Times Square, celebrating - if I remember correctly - the victory in Europe during World War II. The second scene is of college-aged Americans rambunctiously gathering outside the White House following the announcement of the death of bin Laden. I don't feel the same reaction to each scene. Perhaps some of that difference is tradition. Are these two causes of celebration equal?

Where is justice best served? In courtrooms, on battlefields, or in Heaven (used as a collective term to denote the place where God lives)? Thinking back to how we all start out as innocent babies and then turn into various sorts of adults, I wonder if any of us are capable of issuing pure justice. Our varied experiences and the paths we choose to follow don't give us equal perception or standards of truth. This is one of the logical reasons I see that support the belief of one God and one truth. Anything generated from man is imperfect and subject to bias. Only God can bestow an objective truth and justice system upon mankind (in my subjective opinion). Street celebrations over the death of a person, even a terrorist, gives me pause to wonder if justice is being served.

Supposing that we can establish a reasonable point of justice, where is the line between justice and vengeance or revenge? How does the death of a murderer fix the death of the victim who he murdered? An eye for an eye? The Law of Moses was fulfilled by Jesus Christ, who then issued a higher law. Love one another. Do good to them who curse you. Love your enemies. Forgive. If they offend you again, forgive again, until seventy times seven. I despise acts of terrorism. I am saddened by the perpetrators of it, but I also feel sadness for the loss of their lives. I worry about us if we find pleasure in the demise of someone else. Why must one person suffer in order for another to feel better?

I hadn't intended that last question to be profound, but to me it is. I don't know the answer to why, but I do know that One did suffer so that others could feel better. Jesus Christ did. And because he did, no matter what the suffering we experience, we can feel better if we turn to Him. But this differs from what my original intent was with that question. I was questioning how a person victimized by bin Laden would need bin Laden to die in order for them to feel better. I think the answer is bad pride.

When we do bad things there are two aspects, intent and act. This is prevalent in the criminal justice system as well as in religion. A person must understand a law and have the desire to go against it in order to have criminal intent. This is the same within religion. A person must have a knowledge of the commandments (the law) and then desire to do an act contrary to that understanding in order to commit sin. In either case, it could be said that the root problem is disregard for the law. If you boil that down, it is disregard for the law giver. Terrorists have a disregard for humanity. Criminals have a disregard for legislated laws (or at least a desire to get something that overwhelms their regard for legislated laws, but then we are getting into theory). Sinners have a disregard for God's law.

In regards to legislated laws, I think there are degrees of crime. The act is important to factor into the process of justice. Speeding tickets are not the same as drug possession and neither of these is the same as murder. However, when you are talking about sin, the root of the problem, which is fighting against God, is possibly the same level of seriousness in most instances of sin, if not all. What I am trying to say is that the attitude with which we do things is the key factor. Yes, murder is worse than stealing candy, but in the extreme, both show a disregard for laws, either man made or God given.

What does this have to do with celebrating the death of bin Laden? Perhaps nothing. Sometimes one thought leads to another without any clear connection. Maybe none of this is relevant or substantial. Or perhaps the attitude with which we take to the streets chanting and celebrating the death of a person, no matter how heinous his behavior had been, is the same attitude that leads people to reject God's love and guidance. Two final thoughts: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you, and check yourself before you wreck yourself.