Help! You Need Somebody!

I like to point out things that I think are in error. Be it a person’s idea or action. Humans are very discerning creatures, though creatures is used here in a literary sense, to introduce neat sounding words, I think the word subjugates our animal distinction and takes away our unique divinity. Now some of you might take issue with the fact that I am associating humans with deity, more on that later. I say we are discerning, and I mean that we constantly have to discern, or to decide, between different options. We are always making choices. We are free to choose, but the options are dependent upon the previous choices we have made. I studied psychology in college. It was my choice. This course of study prepared me for certain options in the future. If I now decide that I want to be a doctor of medicine, I have not previously made the choices which will allow me to make this choice without further choices and passing time. My choice to study psychology limited the options that would be available to me in certain areas in the future. In some ways we determine our futures by our agency. The future is not determined for us but by our own choices…for the most part. I do believe that there is divine providence which interacts with the course of our lives for good, but this influence is probably going to be dependent upon previous choices we have made, though I don’t intend to command what God can or cannot do, I believe he can intervene in our lives without our preparing the way, but I also believe he greatly respects the gift of being agents unto ourselves which he gave to us. I believe that liberty to choose is one of the natural rights, or inalienable rights, which was pertinent in the founding of the United States of America. There are also some limitations to our total liberty based on the liberty of others around us. Sometimes the choices of others can heavily influence our total liberty in options and choices. Cue our more recent, say, 90 years worth, government of the U.S. In some ways they have impeded our liberty through selfish legislation. Which brings me back to my original thought: I like to point out when I see someone or something which I think is in error. The question that springs from this thought is this, who decides what is right and wrong? Further, when is it appropriate for me, or is it, to instruct someone else about their error and suggest correction?
I do this all the time, if not out loud then in my head. I hear a comment from someone and think about how much I disagree with it and imagine a correction to the comment. I wonder if it is my place to say anything though, so usually I keep quiet; depending of course on the situation and my relationship with the person who I am judging to be in error. I expect that you might feel unsettled by the suggestion that there is any one person who can determine who is in error and in need of correction. That uneasiness about this topic is what generated my question in the first place. Personally, I believe that Jesus Christ is the judge of all people. So where does that leave me? Do I just keep my mouth shut and let whatever happens happen? No, of course not. If that were the case we wouldn’t have any laws. We have laws because while living on this planet we must govern ourselves. We have been taught the laws through prophets and by Christ himself. For those who accept Christianity and the accompanying commandments, there is recognition of the law and the Judge. But not all people do accept this belief system, so there are man-made laws and judges (yes, judges are man-made; storks bringing babies is a myth). We have laws and judges in place and we have law enforcement agencies and officers, but there are still opportunities, some less extreme, to see and judge and correct in day-to-day life. These are the situations I’m talking about. The best I can do is to judge acts and ideas against my autobiography. I can look through my lens and see discrepancies. Is it right for me to think that my lens is better than the lens of anyone else? The easy answer is no. But the simple answer is no also, just a different kind of no, or perhaps neither of these answers make sense. The real answer (for me) is that Jesus taught that with whatever judgment we judge with, meaning, whatever our system of discerning and calling someone out will be what is used to judge us. If our judgments of others are unfair, we will think our personal judgment for eternity unfair. If we judge with mercy and according to eternal laws with which we are familiar, then this is how our judgment will be. In the end, it is not discerning and making a judgment call that is prohibited, rather, it is self-righteous discerning and making a judgment call that is. We must judge righteously, that is, we must follow the laws when making judgment. The laws I speak of are the laws of God, which not everyone adheres to and accepts the same version of these laws. And this leads us back to the same question, is it OK for me to offer correction to someone who believes differently than I do?
I think the answer is to only judge and to only offer correction out of love for the person you are referring to. If your motive isn’t genuine concern for the welfare of that person, then you are operating on anything but love. Love does not vaunt itself, love lifts those around it. I think a primary motivation for wanting to correct others is competition. I know this is the case from personal experience at times. I want to correct people because I want to show off my knowledge or understanding or I want to be seen as more competent and capable. These feelings come from competition. The world speaks of healthy competition, but I’m beginning to wonder these days if there is such a thing. I blame our language, having only one word to describe competition. Maybe there is good competition and bad competition. It is similar to the issue of the word pride. Pride is bad, according to religious definition, yet people are proud of their accomplishments and take pride in their country and family. There are two meanings to this word, each with drastic difference. For my own understanding, I separate pride into these categories: self-aggrandizement and joy of accomplishment. One is bad, it puts self above all others; the other is good, it shows value in following a job through to the end. With competition there might be two categories as well, possibly the same. Bad competition could be defined as that which is for the purpose of lifting yourself above others, while good competition could be that which encourages personal growth by all parties involved. However you slice it, competition and pride have dark sides, and they are not fueled by love.
Contention is the root of pride and competition, I suggest. Contention is the feeling of animosity towards an individual or group. It is being at odds with another party. Contention is argumentative. Contention is “I am right; you are wrong.” Competition and pride fueled by contention are the dark sides. Competition and pride fueled by love are the light sides, or Jedi sides for those of you who might prefer. Since we are on the subject, Anakin Skywalker wanted to help people, just like Yoda, but when it came down to it, Anakin wanted to help people to serve his own selfish desires. I’m not going to say that Star Wars is a perfect example of how one should or shouldn’t align their motivations, but if we look loosely at the story as a generalization I think it works. The Jedi were selfless in the use of their abilities, Anakin was portrayed to be the opposite. Motivated by selflessness, or love, the Jedi were on the good side of the Force. Anakin, motivated by selfishness, was on the dark side of the force. To get back to my topic of thought, motivation determines when to correct another, and who ought to do the correcting.
As I try to keep the revolution oriented towards myself - I don’t want to be a pompous commentator - I am keeping this topic centered on me. I want to know when it is appropriate, or if it is at all, for me to judge others and then offer correction. I feel it is almost prideful to expect that I can give correction, but then I have to be introspective and realize that I have been blessed with attributes and experience which does allow me to offer helpful ideas and suggestions to other people. Again, it can become a fine line to traverse, just like the Jedi. The lesson I will take away from thinking through this topic is to seriously analyze my motivation when I want to call someone out on something. Some questions I might ask myself are these: what are they doing they I find displeasing? Why do I find it displeasing? What purpose would it serve to voice my displeasure with their thoughts or actions? How might they feel after I do, if I do? How might I feel after I do? Am I willing to suffer through the pain of change and correction if I decide to voice my displeasure? That last question might be the most important one in determining when we offer correction to someone. Am I willing to be by their side as they make the effort to change their life, if that is the choice they make and they have a desire for me to help? This is an idea I’ve gotten from my brother when we have discussed these things. If we are not willing to help a person change (again, the idea that we know better than someone else is a tough one, but if we are seeking to align ourselves with the will of God, and desire to help others do the same, then in my subjective point of view, it can be done out of love and not selfish pride) then we ought not to suggest they are in need of a change. If I am not willing to put on the apron and get behind the minimum wage counter at a sandwich shop then I better not tell the trained sandwich maker how to do their job. Unless the motto of that sandwich place is “Have it your way,” in which case you should probably just be polite in asking to have it your way. In any case, we should probably all be polite. Hopefully I’ll keep thinking about these things and allow it to lead to improvements in my character. I will, however, retain the right to criticize politicians because I am willing to take their place, as untrained as I am, because I don’t think a dog, a pony and a spider could do any worse than those self-gratifiers we have elected into office right now, and for the last several decades, generally speaking. I love to contradict myself as a grand finale. We all have room to grow.