An Anecdote from My Past

An experience I once had, which I related to Muffin Man:
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I was setting out for luncheon with my business associate, Lane. As we approaced the lift at the end of the hall, Lane turns to me and says,

"Why, old chap, it appears as though there are bird leavings on your back; did you know this?"

Bird Leavings? On my overcoat? Impossible! Thought I. However, upon removal of the garment I found the astute observation to be nothing but the Kings honest truth!

"My word! There does appear to be a spot of fowl droppings on my overcoat! When did this happen?!" I demanded incredulously, diverting my route to that of the gentlemen's wash room. "I'll take care of this right now."

Lane and I entered the wash room where I held my coat under the hot water faucet until the residue began to dissolve, then helped it along with a paper towel. Luckily, I wear a water proof coat, the inside of which remained perfectly dry through this cleaning process.

"Now your coat will freeze in the wind beaten streets below," says Lane.

"Whether it freezes or not, I do not much care, for inside I will be dry and warm, and outside I shall not appear as the boardwalks of the Jersey shore."
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Muffin Man's response:

One of the most heartbreakingly funny and beautiful things I've read. What made it even better was the fact that I just happened to be in my crushed velvet smoking jacket while drinking some tea and enjoying my mahogany pipe. Good show old boy!